Stupid Crimes

When show-and-tell goes awry

An elementary school teacher in Elk Grove, Calif., might lose her job after accidentally adding footage of herself having sex to a DVD documenting the school year. The video, a copy of which was sent to each student’s home, starts with a menu displaying various school trips and events. One segment shows students in a classroom sharing stories and clapping, then suddenly switches to the fifth-grade teacher in amateur porn. “It goes from my son, straight to her on the couch,” one parent said. The father added he had to stay up until midnight explaining “the birds and the bees.”

 

 

Ninth time’s the charm?

While serving a three-year sentence for drunken driving, a Wisconsin man was found guilty by a jury for yet another drunk driving offense — his ninth. Madison resident Donald Wiessinger, 50, claimed he was not drunk on Oct. 14 when he crashed into a tree after slamming into multiple parked cars, driving over yards and attempting to flee from a police officer. Wiessinger’s attorney claims the police officer had no reason to suspect his client was drunk when she pulled him unconscious from his van, which was on fire.

 

 

Cuffs are thicker than blood

Multiple members of a Massachusetts family were arrested while throwing a wild party for a relative bound for jail. Five people in the Lynn, Mass., family are facing charges including assault and battery with a deadly weapon, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, assault and battery of a police officer and failure to disperse.

 

Diedre Y. Archibald, 34, was arrested after she shouted expletives at police officers who arrived at 2 a.m. Sunday to enforce a noise ordinance, according to a police report. Archibald also slammed a gate on one of the officer’s legs, the report said.

 

“I’m going to sue you, you [expletive] pigs,” shouted another family member, who was also arrested, the report said.

 

 

Fertilizer without the middle man

A Connecticut man is facing assault charges after allegedly defecating on a local resident’s lawn, then throwing a milk crate at the homeowner. While in his Bridgeport home, Elias Ramirez found Gabriel Venegas, 34, unbuckling his pants and crouching down on the lawn. After asking the intruder to leave, the squatter allegedly picked up a milk crate and hurled it at Ramirez’s head.

 

 

– Compiled by Paul D. Shinkman

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