Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wants to know, “Is it really that hard not to be creepy?”
A month-old survey from Lean In made the rounds on social media again this week, and Ocasio-Cortez weighed in on what appeared to be an indictment of male managers.
According to polls from Sheryl Sandberg’s workplace equality initiative, 60% of male managers feel uncomfortable engaging in one-on-one situations with women, such as mentoring, working, or socializing.
The New York Democrat chalked it all up to widespread creepiness, and some on the Right saw it backlash from the #MeToo movement. The truth, however, may lie somewhere in between the two explanations.
The most notable finding from the study was that the 60% figure saw a 32% jump from just a year ago. That percentage jump may be justified by the unraveling of the #MeToo movement. It began in 2017 as an opportunity for women to speak up about sexual assault, but fizzled with a chorus of “believe women” and an arduous Supreme Court confirmation that left fewer people ready to believe allegations of sexual assault.
There’s another issue at play in that 60% statistic. When CNBC originally reported it, it said that “60% of male managers now say they’re uncomfortable mentoring women.” CNBC later updated that erroneous headline to match more closely the actual content of the poll: “60% of male managers now say they’re uncomfortable participating in work activities with women.”
But the changed version is still not entirely accurate, either. The poll actually specifies one-on-one activities, as I noted above. Unfortunately, the original reporting sent readers into a tailspin. More than half of men won’t even mentor women anymore? Unbelievable.
But the truth is, a lot of them just don’t want to get a one-on-one dinner alone. And that might not be such a bad thing.
This isn’t to say that all men need to adopt the Pence Rule (the vice president never gets dinner or drinks with any woman not his wife). But if men are afraid of coming across the wrong way, and women need guidance as they pursue their careers, then it’s just common sense to stick to coffee or lunch. Men and women can and should engage in work-related networking without making anyone uncomfortable.
Last year, Sandberg suggested that men who follow the Pence Rule should apply it to both men and women.
“As for the Pence rule – if you insist on following it, adopt a revised version. Don’t want to have dinner alone with a female colleague? Fine. But make access equal: no dinners alone with anyone. Breakfast or lunches for all. Or group dinners only, nothing one-on-one. Whatever you choose, treat women and men equally,” she wrote in a Facebook post.
The answer to providing equal opportunities to men and women without creating awkward tensions may not be definitive, but the fact that 60% of male managers feel uncomfortable engaging in one-on-one situations with women should not be as disturbing as it seems.
The internet praised Keanu Reeves this week for keeping his distance from female fans who took pictures with him. Men appear to be reluctant about these types of interactions not because they’re all creepy and not because they’re all terrified. Some of them may just be smart.
We simply need to set up systems for co-workers to interact in public, safe environments. That way, everyone wins.
