Private dinners. Long phone calls. Desperate pleas for devotion. The written testimony of former FBI Director James Comey reads like a bad episode of ‘The Bachelor’ with a jilted President Trump competing — not for a rose, but for the loyalty of the former FBI director.
Maybe that sounds glib. Perhaps that assessment’s not a becoming description of a hysteria-fueled scandal that’s paralyzed the Trump presidency. Then again, in 2017 trashy television could be the best lens to understand how a bumbling reality-TV star tried winning over a drama queen. Think about it. All the elements are there on just the second page of the blockbuster testimony.
Recommended Stories
The president was clearly trying to make a first impression with his bold dinner invitation. “It was unclear from the conversation,” a clueless Comey recounts, “who else would be at the dinner, although I assumed there would be others.” But instead of a rose, the intimate meal ended in “awkward silence” when Trump explained that he needs and expects “loyalty.”
If any of this seems unseemly, that’s because it seems like it was made for television. The seven-page script shows that Trump wasn’t there for the right reasons and that Comey wasn’t there to make friends. Longtime viewers of The Bachelor can predict what happened next: Comey gets sent home.
But of course the drama isn’t a reality dating show that has captivated sorority girls for 21 seasons, inspired numerous spin-offs, and destroyed numerous primetime television records. It’s the entertaining and depressing, shallow and tragic state of American politics.
And like the television drama, this one is largely without substance. Judging from this sneak peak of Comey’s testimony in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee tomorrow, a couple of things are abundantly clear.
First, Trump and Comey lack professional decorum (I mean, why was the president courting an FBI director in the first place?) Second, Comey confirms that Trump wasn’t under investigation personally and never tried killing the investigation into Russian electoral meddling. And third, Comey is a complete drama queen.
Unfortunately for our 228-year-old constitutional republic, there won’t be a sympathetic shoulder to cry on after the show ends. There’s no Chris Harrison to console the country, just endless reruns of silly drama.
Philip Wegmann is a commentary writer for the Washington Examiner.
