Thursday’s roller coaster of ballgame between the Chicago Cubs and the Washington Nationals left many baseball fans wondering what the heck they just watched. The game, which saw the Cubs win 9-8 in the longest nine-inning playoff game in history, once again had the Nationals coming up excruciatingly short in their quest to advance to the National League Championship Series for the first time. While a casual baseball fan would consider this a string of bad luck, true baseball fans know what’s at play here.
The Nationals are cursed.
Before you get all defensive and “logical” and say something like “playoff baseball is a small sample size compared to a 162-game regular season” consider the following:
- In the 2.73 million half-innings of baseball, not once have four batters reached on an intentional walk, a passed-ball strikeout, catcher’s interference, and a hit-by-pitch (let alone consecutively!). That happened in game five.
- This is the 13th season of Washington Nationals baseball. The Nationals lost game five in the early hours of Friday the 13th.
- The loss came on the five-year anniversary of the Nationals coming one out away from beating the Cardinals in the 2012 National League Division Series game five. This Nationals eventually lost to the Cardinals, 9-7. Gio Gonzalez started that game five and the 2017 game five for the Nationals.
Finally, and most importantly, I have been a Cubs fan my entire life and saw, in-person, one of the most infamous playoff collapses of all time. I know a cursed team when I see it.
But fear not, Nationals fans. As the 2016 Cubs proved, curses are made to be broken. Here are some steps you can take to help speed up the curse’s demise.
Name your curse
This is easier for some curses than others. For example, the Cubs had the Curse of the Billy Goat, so named because a local tavern owner was kicked out of game four of the 1945 World Series for bringing in his pet goat. He then supposedly cursed the Cubs, saying they would never win another World Series.
The Red Sox had the Curse of the Bambino for selling perhaps the greatest player of all time, Babe Ruth, to their hated rivals, the New York Yankees, in 1919.
Having no such name makes the curse difficult to break. Might I suggest “The Canadian Curse,” a nod to the Nationals move from Montreal?
The Expos also have a bit of a cursed history. In 1994, they were the most dominant team in the league and World Series favorites, only to have the season end in a players strike.
Other options include the “Metro Curse” since the Metro is generally on fire, and is almost never running when the fans need it after late-night playoff games.
Find creative ways to exorcise your curse
The Cubs had been trying for decades to end the curse of the Billy Goat with all kinds of stunts. These included having the son of the tavern owner bring a goat into Wrigley Field, blowing up the infamous Bartman Ball, and having professional eater Takeru Kobayashi attempt to eat 40 pounds of goat meat in 12 minutes. Really let your creativity shine here, Nationals fans. Maybe bring the Canadian ambassador to your games or try to get the Metro to unsuck.
Avoid cursed players
This may seem obvious, but is harder to do than it seems. For example, Bill Buckner, who infamously let a ground ball go between his legs, added years to Boston’s World Series drought. Before he choked in the 1986 World Series, he played for the Cubs. Gonzalez seems to be one of these players for the Nationals. Get him off the team immediately.
Put faith in younger players
A large part of the Cubs’ success in recent years has been due their young core of drafted talent who has refused to buy into the cursed rhetoric. In particular, players such as Kris Bryant (who won Rookie of the Year in 2015 and National League MVP in 2016) have been key. If only the Nationals could find a player like Bryant, who has won the Rookie of the Year, MVP, and happens to be from Las Vegas.
Fire Dusty Baker
This one is pretty self-evident. Putting your faith in a manager who believes the results of sporting events are pre-ordained even as he continues to horribly mismanage his pitching staff and bullpen is the best way to keep a curse going.
Just remember Nationals fans, there’s always next year. And the next year. And the year after that …
Eric Peterson is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog. He is a lifelong fan of the Chicago Cubs and Green Bay Packers.
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