NBA legend Dwyane Wade and his family deserve our compassion right now. In recent weeks, the former Miami Heat star has opened up in television appearances on the Ellen DeGeneres Show and Good Morning America about how his 12-year-old child, Zaya, came out to their family as transgender.
It’s a very difficult thing for a young person to experience profound gender identity confusion. It’s a good thing that the Wade family has responded with love, rather than hate or rejection, to its child’s pronouncement. But in his public acceptance of Zaya’s gender identity, Dwyane Wade has taken things way, way too far.
The athlete has now come out and said that Zaya internally identified as transgender as young as 3 years old. Wade and his family appear to have uncritically accepted that a pre-teen can have completely figured out his or her gender, sexuality, and identity, all before even entering high school. This is irresponsible. It’s also harmful to the acceptance of gay and transgender people more broadly.
By touting the idea that a literal 3-year-old can be “transgender,” Wade and those liberal media outlets worshiping him for it are tying hard-fought acceptance of the gay and transgender communities to an outlandish, harmful, and radical position.
The publicity seems harmful enough on its own, given that it irrevocably commits a 12-year-old to something a pre-teen is probably in no position to decide on a permanent basis. But worst of all, the approach Wade and his family appear to have taken is to defer to the expertise … of a child.
“We know there’s other families out there dealing with their kid finding themselves and learning who they are,” Wade reportedly said. “I’m not going to sit here and act like we have all the answers. I’m not going to sit here and act like before our child came home and sat us down, that we weren’t ignorant parents when it comes to the world. When I say we’re learning from our 12-year-old, we’re literally learning from our child.”
It’s wonderful that Wade and his family are open-minded and want to do what’s right for their gender-confused child. But a 3-year-old cannot be transgender. It’s wildly irresponsible for parents to pretend otherwise, even if they are acting with the best of intentions. Additionally, to take your lead from a young child on an issue of this importance is just ridiculous.
Wade should have been immediately concerned when he heard Zaya say this about being transgender at age 3. They ought to have questioned this, not accepted it uncritically, not publicized it.
Most 3-year-olds cannot even read, let alone understand complicated concepts such as sex, gender identity, and sexuality. Yes, young children can experience gender confusion, and they should be treated with compassion, not forced to conform to harsh sex stereotypes. Yet the notion that they can have anything meaningfully figured out at such a young age is just downright absurd. Remember, multiple studies show that a vast majority of gender-confused young children eventually grow out of it. Many end up simply identifying as gay.
A child as young as 3, 7, or even 12 years old cannot have this all figured out.
If Zaya’s gender dysphoria persists throughout teenage years and into adulthood, that’s one thing. But in the meantime, Wade and his family have a responsibility to see Zaya through a tough period with compassion, and also with common sense. Common sense requires that parents not let children raise themselves. They should not defer uncritically to the gender identity pronouncement of someone who hasn’t even taken Algebra I.
If anything, it seems Wade has taken the easy way out, bending the knee entirely to the whims of his teenage child — the professional athlete is literally taking instruction from his 12-year-old — out of fear of the irate, woke mob that might descend upon him were he to take a more sensible “wait and see” approach to Zaya’s gender confusion.
Many everyday people, regardless of political persuasion, view the idea that a 3-year-old, or even a 12-year-old, can definitively be transgender as simply beyond the pale of absurdity. By tying acceptance to such an outlandish premise, Wade does not just his daughter, but societal progress more broadly, a disservice.
