In the larger cities of the Kurdistan Regional Government of the Iraqi Kurdistan region, young girls are going to school, playing and hanging out with their friends, learning to use the new apps on their smartphones, and many more activities they enjoy. Meanwhile, in the other rural, more tribal parts, there are young girls fighting to hide from the “lady with the knife” who visits from house to house to perform the female version of circumcision, female genital mutilation, or FGM.
This practice is an ancient, baseless tradition that is forced upon girls between the ages of zero to 12 in an attempt to control sexual desires in later years. This tradition has been passed down from generation to generation of women.
In some countries, the birth of a daughter is often celebrated as a good omen. But in a few countries around the world, it is viewed as a large responsibility because, along with it, comes the burden of carrying the entire family’s honor. The female in the family is oftentimes overprotected to keep this honor intact, to preserve the reputation of the family.
She is limited in her activities, particularly with the opposite sex, in order to keep her “pure.” One way these societies have decided to preserve this purity is to diminish the sexual desires of the females in the family so that they will not bring them shame or dishonor, or to remove her desire altogether by altering her natural anatomy.
A young girl has no knowledge of this practice. It is the adults in the family who choose this fate for her. It has been banned in the Kurdish region, yet it still continues illegally. The only change is that the “lady with the knife” has become better at hiding her practice, for which these families pay her generously.
Typically, the process begins by using an unsterilized, small butcher knife to dig out the clitoris of the young girl. The clitoris is the culprit that urges her to seek pleasure and bring shame. The part of her body anatomically created to enjoy sexual pleasure is taken away with one quick slice, if she is lucky. She is expected to endure this pain without the use of any anesthesia. Several women hold her down and put a cloth muzzle in her mouth so her screams are not heard from outside the home.
If all goes well, her physical wound will heal within two weeks, but some may face excessive bleeding and infections. If it doesn’t go well, she possibly faces death.
The psychological healing, however, lasts a lifetime.
I have heard countless stories of horror from my grandmother, aunts, cousins, and my own mother of the devastating effects this imprints on the minds of these women. Women, for whom the joys of womanhood have been forever silenced, not ever knowing what it feels like to climax the way they would normally experience it had they not gone through FGM.
Then there are those who’ve been through a botched FGM, which leaves the embarrassment of having to cover the scent of urine from their bodies because “the lady with the knife” cut too deeply. There are also the women who do not know there is a heavenly pleasure that comes with sharing that intimate moment with their partner, which oftentimes causes their “nonunderstanding” partner to feel offended and cause difficulties in their physical relationship. And the list goes on and on.
We can all become the voice of reason and teach others who follow the tradition and believe this practice must be carried out. Explaining the devastating and even fatal effects will change the lives of these girls and women drastically. Reporting the “lady with the knife” and her co-conspirators is a very big step. The victims are under the family’s control and may not have the means to report it; if they do, they may be accused of shaming the family and be dealt with violently as honor-victims.
Do not stay silent. Use your voice to end this criminal act because they cannot.
It is 2019, and action in exposing and ending this practice is long overdue. We can step up and may be able to save these girls from a lifetime of injustice done to their bodies.
Araysh Barzinjee moved back to her hometown of Erbil in 1999 to work in various local and international humanitarian NGOs.
