“Coronavirus,” comedian Mark Normand tweeted last week, “a dangerous infection or an [introvert’s] dream?”
As COVID-19 spreads through the United States, with 1,000 cases and counting, more and more people are being told to work from home or self-quarantine. These precautionary measures may be helpful to curb the spread of disease, but they’re also useful for a certain genre of people, whether or not they were at risk of contracting coronavirus: introverts.
While people across the U.S. are told to avoid unnecessary traveling and hand-shaking, the quieter segment of the population is celebrating — in their own homes, happily curled up quietly in the corner.
According to Google Trends, “Searches for #SocialDistancing are at an all-time high in the US.” Social distancing refers to measures that health officials recommend in a time of outbreak: avoiding physical contact, staying home, and canceling big gatherings — or as an introvert would put it, a perfect week.
From keeping to themselves at school, work, or church, introverts are happy to do their part to stop the spread of coronavirus. San Francisco news website SFist reports: “To the giddy delight of introverts across the seven-by-seven, the San Francisco Department of Public Health (SFDPH) has now recommended ‘social distancing’ as a precautionary measure to thwart the spread of COVID-19.”
A headline from the satirical website the Babylon Bee quips, “Church Introverts Praise Lord For Coronavirus As Greeting Times Canceled.” New Yorker Annie Davis told local news that she has been cautious with coronavirus, but she doesn’t normally leave the house anyway. “I am a bit of a germophobe,” she said, “but I am also an introvert.”
Introverts, it turns out, have been inadvertently training to fight coronavirus for years. And, even when it settles down, they’ll be ready for the next pandemic.
“I don’t have coronavirus,” a popular Twitter account for introverts said, “but I still quarantined myself for two weeks just in case.”
