There is no one quite like Serena Williams. Her tennis career is the kind of story reserved only for a very few people. That she is a black woman who has made history in a largely white playing field is worth noting. (It doesn’t require a descent into wokeness to acknowledge that.)
In another sense, there are many others like Serena Williams: namely, working mothers who enjoy family life as well as success outside of the home. It is possible to have both, though that requires compromise. It also requires understanding and acceptance, if reluctant, of our biological duties.
In a recent Vogue article, Williams announced her retirement, her reasons including expanding the family she has with her husband, Alexis Ohanian, and daughter, Olympia. Early on in the article, Williams explains:
She later adds: “I definitely don’t want to be pregnant again as an athlete. I need to be two feet into tennis or two feet out.”
It’s clear from the article that Serena Williams is grateful for both her career and her family. It’s also clear that she works hard at both. She has enormous success to prove it. But her initial statement about fairness is a denial of reality. Whether women think it’s “fair” or not, we’re the ones who get pregnant and carry and deliver children. This is the path for any woman who wants a child, unless she has both the means and interest to do it by way of surrogacy or adoption. It is the natural order of things, and there is no use in pushing back against it or labeling it inequality.
Part of the reason a concern for fairness is bothersome is the gender wars that are all the rage. In many arenas, women are being told that men can feel like and become women. In fact, some of these individuals, such as Lia Thomas, are celebrated as actual women when they are not. It is infuriating. Women, like men, are unique in their physical, emotional, and mental strengths. One such strength is the ability to carry and bear children. That is a uniquely feminine trait, and it should neither be co-opted by the transgender crowd nor reduced to a burden. As a mother of two young boys, I am well aware of the exhausting physical toll of pregnancy and labor, not to mention motherhood.
According to Forbes, Serena Williams’s career earnings are $94.6 million, with activities off the court bringing in $340 million. Her individual net worth is staggering. It’s a level of wealth few will ever know. In addition, Williams is brimming with passion and skill for the sport she loves. Leaving all this behind can’t be easy. But it’s safe to say that despite her enormous accomplishments and record-breaking life, the role of a mother is still the most meaningful and important of all. This doesn’t mean Williams or any other successful woman has to look down on achievements outside the home. However, it does mean that pregnancy should neither be denigrated nor placed in that ever-growing list titled “unfair to women.” As a woman, this is the body you inhabit. And carrying and nourishing a new life, though difficult and requiring some sacrifice, is a true privilege.
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis said it best: “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much.” That’s a hard truth, but a truth nonetheless. Taking time out to have and raise children isn’t a wasted life. And signaling to children that their existence screwed up present and future plans is incredibly harmful.
I don’t think Serena Williams is a bad mother. But I do wish she would recognize that complaining about having to choose between her career and her family is selfish. Doing so may not be easy or fun, but there is nothing like parenthood. That men can’t have children isn’t a grand scheme against women; it’s just reality. And success outside the home, however grand, pales in comparison to the wealth of bearing, raising, loving, and guiding the next generation.
Kimberly Ross (@SouthernKeeks) is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog and a columnist at Arc Digital.
