I'm living large, but it's an illusion

A few months ago I made a trip to attend my daughter Isabelle’s commencement at an institution of higher learning. Having no apparel to signify my investment in this particular school, I entered the bookstore and found a shirt emblazoned with its name. Too impatient to try the shirt on, I eyeballed the medium and the large and decided the medium would fit.

When I got it home, of course, I found it didn’t. It was a bit short and a bit snug. I should have gone with the large. So it’s official: Appearances notwithstanding, I’m a big man.