Millions of American soccer fans were really, really looking forward to the 2018 FIFA World Cup in Russia. Unfortunately, something terrible happened along the way. The U.S. men’s national team dropped the ball. In one of the most embarrassing failures of this World Cup cycle, Team USA failed to qualify, despite competing in one of the easier regional soccer confederations. Mighty Trinidad and Tobago blocked us by 2-1.
So, if you’re watching this year’s tournament, you’re probably wondering which team you should be rooting for. It’s not an easy question to answer. America’s close neighbor, Canada, isn’t playing either. Italian- and Irish-Americans can’t go for their mother countries, because they didn’t qualify either.
Sure, you could always hop on the bandwagon. You could arbitrarily choose to root for one of the powerhouse teams, like Germany or Brazil or Argentina or Spain. You could pick a random underdog like Egypt because of the phenomenal Mohamed Salah or maybe go with Nigeria because of their incredibly slick uniforms. You could pick a team out of a hat.
But now, thanks to science, you can do better than that.
Here at the Washington Examiner, we study public opinion carefully. And based on our work, we’ve developed a rigorous scientific test that will determine with extreme precision which team you should be rooting for this summer. Your proper national affiliation will be determined based on a few simple answers you give about your views on politics and current events.
So, take just a minute right now and answer a couple of easy questions that were crafted based on scientific processes — it will make the remaining month of play a much more satisfying experience for you. If there’s a team out there that deserves your temporary loyalty, our quiz will identify it for you.
