Constitution Ave., Washington, D.C. Does a better address exist? When our children were little, our small townhouse tucked on the modest end of this glorious avenue was just perfect. After all, the world’s greatest museum complex was very literally just down the street.
On Sundays I put my oldest daughter in her bike seat, and off we peddled to the museum of her choosing. We called our Sunday outings our “adventures.” It was terrific in everyway.
Except in one: Toilets.
The national mall had a wealth of toiletry options. But very few were suitable for a father and his daughter. As she grew, the problem became increasingly awkward. Yes, there’s a family restroom over at the Natural History Museum. But what if nature calls urgently — as it always seems to with children — when you’re at the Smithsonian Castle? Do you run her inside the men’s room past the gauntlet of urinating gents? Or do you send her into the ladies’, and hover outside ensuring you don’t miss her exit in the tides of people?
And it’s not just children who need to take bathroom breaks. Visiting the Louvre in Paris after just a little too much exotic food the evening before, nature placed an extraordinarily urgent call to me. Once again my daughter and I were traveling together. What to do with her in the crowds of swirling people while I did what had to be done?
Family friendly toilets are not just in short supply at museums. From big box stores to fast food outlets, western civilization tends to approach bathroom facilities as a binary option.
But, it turns out, life is more complex than that.
Sometimes dads are out with their daughters. Sometimes it’s moms with their sons. And yes, sometimes it’s people who don’t neatly fit into gender classifications; maybe because they were born intersex, or maybe for other physiological or psychological reasons. Whatever the reason, the current set-up just isn’t working.
Our culture, intent on creating winners and losers, has approached the question in the crudest way possible. Traditionally, there’s simply been no appropriate option to offer to people who don’t fit neatly into one box or another. That’s not right. Recently, we’ve begun imposing over our dated infrastructure a mandate that anyone can go into any bathroom depending on his or her self-selected gender identity. But that is not right either, is it? After all, people have a right to single-gender bathrooms and change rooms if they want them, don’t they?
Binary thinking has created binary options. And binary options create problems in a complex world. We need our bathroom options to mirror our societal reality. And that means adding a third option that can accommodate the varied needs of society: A bathroom option that anyone can opt to use with privacy and dignity without robbing others of their equal right to privacy and dignity.
The obvious way to do that is to add unisex/family bathroom options. Adding gender-neutral bathroom facilities will not, of course, satisfy everyone. Activists will feel that anything other than total victory is a societal slight. And both political parties will lose an emotive wedge issue in an election year. Finally, and most importantly, businesses, schools, offices and even museums won’t want to incur the cost of adding additional facilities.
But it does not have to be a huge cost. When a bathroom has a single toilet, simply changing the signage reduces the stigma. In other instances, yes, an additional bathroom will need to be added. It seems a small cost to address our most fundamental of fundamental rights: The right to go when we need to go.
James Standish is an American lawyer who resides at Mona Vale Beach, Sydney, Australia. He previously served as executive director of the US Commission on International Religious Freedom and secretary of the UN NGO Committee on Freedom of Religion or Belief. Thinking of submitting an op-ed to the Washington Examiner? Be sure to read our guidelines on submissions.
