The leader of the free world is apparently “a speed freak.”
At least that’s according to a former staffer of “The Apprentice,” Noel Casler, who now says President Trump had a habit of crushing and sniffing Adderall. Casler claims that before the presidency, the real estate mogul would do lines “because he can’t read, so he gets really nervous when he has to read cue cards.”
Color me skeptical.
One thing is that Casler has launched a career as a comedian and is in desperate need for new material. His jab at the literacy of the president is not new or particularly funny. Pete Davidson and Taran Killam of “Saturday Night Live” already took that jab more than a year ago, insisting that Trump, as a guest host in 2016, “struggled to read” during rehearsals for the show.
Stay with me here: Maybe that is because Trump is an old man with — hold on now — the deteriorating eyesight of an old man?
While the president rarely sports reading glasses in public, photographers have caught him peering over a pair of spectacles in the past. It is possible that at an “SNL” table reading or an “Apprentice” rehearsal, the famously vain performer ditched his glasses and struggled to read the small print on the cards.
Maybe that is a stretch, but it is a whole heckuva lot more convincing than speculations about presidential illiteracy. Trump speaks from a teleprompter, and Trump has a bit of a Twitter habit. Both activities, Casler may be surprised to discover, require reading skills.
Claims about a druggie Trump are even more laughable. He has been very clear about his germophobia. He has been more clear about his distaste for drugs and alcohol. Turns out, the president is dry because of his late older brother’s substance abuse. He doesn’t mind talking about it either.
“He would tell me constantly, ‘Don’t drink,’” Trump said during a “60 Minutes” interview. “And I’ve never had a drink. I own the largest winery on the East Coast and yet I don’t drink, which is a little weird. But he said, ‘Don’t drink. Don’t smoke.’ And he would tell me all the time.”
But Casler wants us to believe that a teetotaler and a germophobe would crush up little pills then suck them through his nose for a high. More than ridiculous, it sounds like a bad joke.
