Not to overhype the crusade against participation trophies, but Taylor Swift’s new single sounds like one in musical form, and it’s bad. Listening to “ME!” is like finding a gold medal that says, “If you had fun, you won!”

After much anticipation, Swift dropped her new song last week, quickly breaking music video records on Vevo and YouTube. She’s been country; she’s been pop; now she’s full-on pastel and … Kidz Bop?