I’m starting to think I should have listened to House Speaker Paul Ryan.
Congress’s resident avid bowhunter and I usually chat about deer hunting on the few occasions we get for small talk. Last time, he mocked me.
It went something like this:
Me: “Have you thought about shifting from a bow to a crossbow?”
Ryan: “Nah, I’m too young for that.”
Me: “I’m thinking about it.”
Ryan: “No. Man up, you wussie!”
It’s a debate a lot of bow hunters have as they age, weaken, or just want more weapons. The “compound” bow is the classic manual-hold-and-release version, generally held vertically. The trigger-fired crossbow is — well, to be honest, it amounts to a short-range rifle.
Hence, the teasing from Paul Ryan.
In my defense, I didn’t go looking for an easy alternative; I had shot a friend’s crossbow and wanted one. I still use my super compact bow but added a crossbow to my arsenal this season.
I can see why it’s a point of pride to avoid it, however. It uses a crank instead of a cumbersome rope to cock. It has all sorts of gun-like adjustments to make it a breeze to shoot. And I’ve dressed up the arrows with nocks that light up red once they’ve been fired.
It’s called the Assassin. It may be, but so far, I’m not.
When it arrived in the mail, I felt like Ralphie when he opened the Red Ryder BB gun in “A Christmas Story.” And I was just as jinxed. While Ralphie almost shot his eye out, as predicted, my Assassin seems to have come with deer repellent.
It should be easy where I mostly hunt, in Virginia’s Loudoun County, 60 miles from the White House, which has so many deer that hunting season lasts from September through March. The state encourages hunters to take as many does as they want, and it’s does I like.
As the season opened, I let all the bucks pass. If a buck was chasing a doe, I smiled and looked the other way. But now, several weeks into the season, that’s looking like a mistake. Since then, every time a deer showed its white tail, it was either out of range or found me and ran.
That frustration is typical for regular bow hunters who often have a range of 30 yards of less, not the 60 yards of a crossbow.
I tried putting special anti-scent spray on my camo and moved my tree stands closer to the deer paths, especially after an early season snow showed their favorites. But still nothing. Well, worse. In my last few hunts, the deer have hung out or lain down under the trees I had moved my stands from.
Apparently, the word is out in the squirrel world. This year, more than ever, they are perching in the nearest tree at eye level and laughing at me. I’ve got the iPhone pictures to prove it.
Rifle season has been a lot more successful: four down so far. But I’m going to stick with the Assassin until I live up to its name.
I have hope — because I’ve been here before. When my neighbor Paul first got me into deer hunting in the woods near Purcellville, Va., I sat for weeks, in an unusually cold winter, waiting for my chance as the deer played hide and seek. Paul’s wife even suggested I wasn’t up for the blood sport.
On the last morning of the season, a bruiser came through, and I finally filled my first tag. I hope to report back way before the end of March that the Assassin worked.
