Party City is closing down stores, and this is all the excuse some need to start panicking over a supposed helium shortage again. Parties, children, and helium balloons are not something I’ve ever really understood. Don’t kids have squeaky voices already?

But everything is an excuse now to insist that we’re about to run out of everything, that modern civilization cannot continue, appetites must be curbed, recycle everything, and walk more lightly upon this Earth. One problem with this is that we’re not running out of stuff, something I really did write the book on (Hey, it’s free, why not?). The other is that helium is absolutely the worst possible example you could use to illustrate that contention anyway.