Just because some men behave in a toxic fashion, that doesn’t mean masculinity is to blame, or that we need a term for “toxic masculinity.”
If we do, we should probably also define “toxic femininity” — because that exists, too. On that subject, Meryl Streep was 100% right.
In an interview with her “Big Little Lies” co-stars, moderated by Vanity Fair’s editor in chief, Streep said this week that there are just toxic people.
“We hurt our boys by calling something toxic masculinity,” she said. “And I don’t find [that] putting those two words together … because women can be pretty f—ing toxic.”
Jezebel, being Jezebel, published an article that read, “Meryl Streep has no idea what she’s f—ing talking about when it comes to toxic masculinity.” Of course, not all men are toxic, the author argues, but “there are some damaging facets of culturally-imposed masculinity that are toxic to men.”
Yet Jezebel writers and other feminists who defend the term are still wrong. The problem with “toxic masculinity” is not that such a thing cannot exist, but that the term is alienating and oversimplified. You can believe that some men exhibit toxic, socially conditioned behaviors without arguing that the term for them is useful. It’s not. If feminists want to communicate to men that certain behaviors are bad, slapping the label “toxic” on manhood isn’t going to help anything.
Both men and women can exhibit toxic behaviors, even toward the other gender.
“It’s toxic people,” Streep said. “We have our good angles and we have our bad ones. I think the labels are less helpful than what we’re trying to get to, which is a communication, direct, between human beings. We’re all on the boat together. We’ve got to make it work.”
Streep didn’t misunderstand toxic masculinity. She just said it was a bad label.
If feminists want “to make it work,” they should take Streep’s advice. A gender studies glossary including terms like “toxic masculinity” is unhelpful and overly broad, and it simply perpetuates the idea that feminists don’t understand men.
So Streep, who is now not “woke” enough for many of her young fans, actually shared some insight they’d be wise to accept.
