Twisted and evil: Politicians butcher ‘Star Wars’

Republican candidate Ted Cruz, for example, tried his hand at a Yoda impression in late November during a town hall meeting in Iowa while discussing the amount of wisdom dished out in “Star Wars,” but he managed to butcher Yoda’s piece of advice to Jedi-in-training Luke Skywalker, “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” Cruz inverted the phrase.

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Meanwhile, Florida Sen. Marco Rubio made a critical “Star Wars” mistake that the Washington Examiner‘s Philip Klein said “is sure to make fans cringe.”

“I think I had the Death Star,” Rubio said of a toy he once owned, “but it kept breaking, just like it did in part two — ‘Empire Strikes Back,’ where it blew up because the guy got that rocket to go into that hole. Remember that?”

But no one should remember that. “Empire” is the only original trilogy “Star Wars” movie that does not feature the Death Star.

Another GOP contender, Rand Paul, is attempting to start a rebellion against GOP front-runners like Trump, whom he must see as an Emperor Palpatine-like figure looming over the entire election cycle.

While Paul roused his rebel forces, a tweet was sent out from somewhere in the swamps of the Dagobah system by former New York Gov. George Pataki, who professed his love for “Star Wars.”

On the Democratic side of the Force, the Bernie Sanders campaign is telling its supporters: “May the BERN be with you!”

In a rally that was planned for Thursday night’s premiere of “The Force Awakens” in Boston, supporters were greeting “Star Wars” fans, offering Bernie buttons and stickers to “Jedis and Stormtroopers alike” and making sure “all the Younglings are registered to vote, and [use] the old Jedi mind trick on any Republicans that may be in our midst.”

Sanders’ competition in the Democratic field, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, proved she shoots first with a post on her website Thursday titled, “2015 in Republican politics, as explained by ‘Star Wars,’” which basically called the entire Republican field a bunch of scruffy-looking nerf-herders.

It also featured this not-so-subtle gif of the classic “Star Wars” opening credits scroll with the words replaced with her campaign logo.

On Earth’s equivalent of the Jedi Council — Congress — Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake showed off his “Star Wars” fandom this year in his report on wasteful federal spending called “Wastebook: The Farce Awakens,” complete with a cover page that includes a drawing of Flake and (presumably) George Lucas with lightsabers.

American politicians are not the only ones versed in the ways of the Force. A discussion in the British House of Commons about the country’s thriving film industry — “The Force Awakens” filmed many scenes in England — ended with U.K. Prime Minister David Cameron saying of a colleague, “I know he will never join the dark side.”

Before fans can escape into a whirlwind of lightsaber duels and epic space battles, the federal government will have one final message for theatergoers before the opening crawl: Don’t drink or drive (applies to cars and Millennium Falcons). The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration just wants to make sure you don’t crash your X-Wing or AT-ST on the way home.

But some politicians cannot even pretend to care about the political affairs of a galaxy far, far away.

Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush tried to come off as a fan of “Star Wars,” but let slip to Business Insider that he doesn’t plan on seeing the new film until March. We assume he’s waiting until after the March 1 “Super Tuesday” primaries.

When asked if he likes the prequel trilogy, Bush shook his head and said, “No, I like the first ones. The prequels — the last three? Not as big a fan.” “Sorry, George,” he added, referring to George Lucas, the father of the “Star Wars” franchise.

Then there’s Donald Trump, who has been personifying the famous Yoda line “fear is the path to the dark side” with his many controversial comments about women, building walls to keep Mexican immigrants out of the U.S. and banning Muslims from entering the country.

At least he escaped a “Star Wars”-related question from Jimmy Kimmel earlier this week relatively unscathed. When asked if he is planning on seeing “The Force Awakens,” he said he “might” and that he only watched “maybe one or two” of the previous six films.

“But … great stuff,” Trump said of the franchise as a whole. “George Lucas, I mean the whole thing, I mean the job he’s done is fantastic.”