DIM BULB
WHO: Former Indianapolis Colts starting defensive tackle Ed Johnson.
WHAT: Johnson won’t be playing in the NFL today after being cut by the Colts when he was arrested for marijuana possession Wednesday morning.
WHY IT’S DIM: Johnson, with a checkered past, had been warned against violating team rules by Colts Coach Tony Dungy the very day before his arrest.
CURE: There’s no cure for reckless stupidity.
Dim bulb of the week
WHO: Former administrative Judge Roy Pearson Jr.
WHAT: Having been embarrassed, officially admonished, and removed from his job in the wake of his lawsuit demanding $67 million from a dry cleaning shop for losing his pants, Pearson now has appealed the decision that threw out his case. (Equally bad, the D.C. Court of Appeals agreed to hear the appeal.)
WHY IT’S DIM: By, uh, pressing his case, Pearson again makes himself an utter laughingstock.
CURE: Scrub this case from the docket, and quickly.
Daily Outrage
Fruit flies don’t bother me
WHO: Rep. Mike Thompson, D-Calif.
WHAT: Congressman Thompson won the Citizens for Government Waste’s “French Kiss Off Award” for earmarking $211,509 in federal funds to research olive fruit flies. According to CAGW, Thompson earmarked $28.4 million for 27 pork barrel projects last year.
WHY IT’S AN OUTRAGE: The fruit fly funding is particularly egregious since it will help pay for researchers’ wine and croissants in Paris.
Sinking ship
WHO: Holders of common and preferred stock in mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were virtually wiped out when the federal government seized control of the two mortgage giants after they posted record losses. The $200 billion government takeover was an attempt to shore up a shaky mortgage market still reeling from the meltdown of subprime loans and a 10- to 11- month supply of unsold homes.
