We already know that students accused of sexual assault on college campuses aren’t given adequate due process to defend themselves, but many don’t realize the trauma wrongly accused students go through.
In March of last year I wrote about Joshua Strange, who was accused by an ex-girlfriend and expelled from Auburn University. Strange described his ordeal as being at “the bottom of this pit.”
“And all around you is just darkness. It’s just completely black, except for the light of one match that’s in your hand and that match is burning,” Strange told a gathering of due process advocates at the National Press Club. “And that’s all you can see. And it’s just you by yourself – cold, dark and alone.”
Another accused student told Buzzfeed that he felt like administrators and activists wanted him to just die based on an accusation with no evidence.
“At first I thought they didn’t want me to participate in campus activities. Then I thought they didn’t want me to graduate,” he said. “Now they don’t want me to have a job or be part of society. Do they want me to commit suicide? Is that what they want me to do? What is the endgame?”
Another accused student, this one known as John Doe from Columbia University, also had suicidal thoughts in the wake of his accusation. He told the Washington Examiner in 2014 that the accusation “just drove me to the point where I felt like there is no other option.” He said he “had been painted as this horrible person” and “was led to believe that was me, and that hurt a lot.”
Kevin Parisi began having increased panic attacks after he was accused. He was at least lucky enough to be found “not responsible” by his university. “The whole world seems hopeless and like, your heart pounds and the world — the walls — kind of close in on you,” Parisi told the Examiner.
Then there was the mother of yet another wrongly accused student, who recalled getting a phone call from her crying son at 3:30 in the morning. He told her: “I’m sorry mom, I just can’t do this anymore…”
Now the Daily Beast has collected stories from students who say they were falsely accused. One student, identified by the pseudonym Matthew, was forced to come out to his parents as a result of the accusation. He was accused of sexually assaulting a fellow student twice, but says the first encounter was consensual, the second wasn’t even sexual and that he had ended the encounter because he was uncomfortable. Yet still he was suspended.
“I’m struggling with depression,” Matthew said. “I’m struggling with insomnia. I’m struggling to figure out the rest of my life. I’m trying to pick up the pieces.”
Another student, Alex, said he was “borderline suicidal.”
“I was just in a rut. I moped around my house. I didn’t work. I gained weight. I didn’t want to go back to the gym and show my face because everyone thought I was supposed to be at school,” he said. “I didn’t want to answer questions about why I was there. I thought about the situation and cried myself to sleep. I was borderline suicidal.”
He added that he feels “like everything has just stopped, and I can’t go anywhere.”
Another mother of a wrongly accused student received a phone call while at the grocery store with her husband. Her son told her that his girlfriend was accusing him of rape and that he “freaked out” and wondered what the point of living was. Her son was being taken to the psych ward at the hospital.
The mother, identified as Charlotte, said her son told her he had a plan for how he was going to commit suicide.
“I feel this whole thing has killed the son I had. This is not my son,” Charlotte said. “He was so driven, so motivated. He had this whole plan, and now, it’s like he’s dead.”
Another mother, identified as Abby, said her son was suffering from anxiety and depression and was diagnosed as a result of the trauma he endured during a false accusation. He was ultimately found not responsible by his university, after a prolonged disciplinary process.
Her son ultimately found another school to attend, but has had to withdraw from his new school for a second time due to his trauma.
“You see your kid destroyed through no fault of his own. The destruction this has caused is just unbelievable,” Abby said. “In part, too, it’s frustrating because everyone says, ‘Oh, great. Everything worked out.’ Well actually, no. He may as well have been expelled because he hasn’t been able to finish a college semester since.”
Not only are these students dealing with emotional trauma caused by wrongful accusations and a school disciplinary process designed to find them responsible regardless of the evidence (or lack thereof), but the financial burden of defending themselves in court can reach into the six-digits.
Everyone talks about the trauma that accusers go through, and that’s important. But we also have to address a system that is biased against accused students, which is leading to their own trauma and severe limitations on their futures.
School disciplinary processes may not be criminal in nature, but they have the effect of branding students as criminals, even if they are never convicted in a court. For this reason, and the fact that the system is set up to invite false accusations, students need due process.
Ashe Schow is a commentary writer for the Washington Examiner.
