What started as a bona fide movement aimed at truth, justice, and punitive measures toward sexual harassment and assault in the workplace has now culminated in a swarm of tell-alls and whining. Why? Feminism as a movement is so misguided but still vocal that it’s already turned a moment of opportunity for justice into a warped, confusing string of missives against men, dating, and sex.

Take the latest buzz, a piece in Babe about a date with comedian actor Aziz Ansari. It describes an excited woman, “Grace,” eager to get to know a famous, funny face. But as the date went on and turned to sexual activity back at his apartment, she’s somewhere between engaging — getting naked, participating — and uncomfortable at his aggressive, yet awkward, bumbling advances. It reads like a woman who desires emotional and physical connection and a man who wants to get laid and has watched enough porn to make up for his lack of prowess in bed. She ends up leaving upset, and the next day when Ansari texts her, she responds that she didn’t enjoy the date and he should have known that, given her nonverbal cues.