What is a town council for if not trying to stop children from having fun? Whether it’s a dancing ban in Footloose, a crackdown on skateboarders, or a noise ordinance, preventing the youths from enjoying themselves too much is a central duty of local government.
And what are Americans good at if not breaking those rules and having a good time anyway?
This Halloween, towns and cities everywhere asserted that due to the coronavirus, trick-or-treating was canceled.
Ha! Trick-or-treating is canceled only when we say trick-or-treating is canceled.
The elders of Albion, Indiana, in late October tried to cancel trick-or-treating: “Leaders from the Board of Health suggest that public gatherings and events could potentially become ‘super-spreaders’ and should be discouraged.”
Albion’s mandarins included trick-or-treating, even though that stretches the definition of “gathering.” Children are not exactly known to linger in their zombie costumes to make polite conversation with Mrs. O’Neill who just handed out the Butterfingers. No, they’re much more likely to sprint (as fast as their costumes will allow) to the next door.
Albion’s good citizens responded in the American manner. They created a Facebook group to advertise which households in the town would be handing out candy.
“It’s a free choice whether to go out to trick or treat or not,” John Galligher told local news outlet WANE. “We can hand out candy and still stay away from people, plus be outside and wear a mask and still follow CDC guidelines.”
In nearby Hicksville, Kami Hunter pulled out her large slingshot, optimized for launching water balloons, to launch candy at children from a safe distance. What could be more American than bending the rules and distributing junk food, all while deploying artillery weapons?
Parents around the country also made candy chutes — lengths of PVC tubing that allow the candy to slide down from a front porch or even an upstairs window, more than preserving safe distances.
