If I didn’t know better, I’d think a post titled, “Yes, kink belongs at Pride. And I want my kids to see it,” was such an outrageous invitation to spar in the public square that it was not worthy of a response. Still, I’ll bite: A piece with that exact headline was published in the Washington Post last week. It represents a more commonly held view in the LGBT community than many on the Right and even the Left realize, so it warrants a comeback, even if garnering outrage was its only purpose.
In the piece, author Lauren Rowello gives an account of the first time she, her children, and her wife went to a Pride parade, with her wife dressed as a transgender woman for the first time in public. Rowello, who writes from Philadelphia, makes the case not just for openly kinky Pride parades but for children attending them. In fact, she says it’s vital to a healthy childhood.
“If we want our children to learn and grow from their experiences at Pride, we should hope that they’ll encounter kink when they attend. How else can they learn about the scope and vitality of queer life?” Rowello writes. Later, she says, “Children who witness kink culture are reassured that alternative experiences of sexuality and expression are valid — no matter who they become as they mature, helping them recognize that their personal experiences aren’t bad or wrong, and that they aren’t alone in their experiences.”
I’ll say one thing off the bat: I appreciate Rowello admitting that Pride parades are in fact often overly kinky, full of attendees making sexual innuendos and gestures while wearing an over-the-top sensual garb. Conservative parents, and even liberals, have often pointed this out and been told they were just boring prudes, not caring parents. Rowello argues that failing to let children see kinky acts at Pride parades is just an “oppressive message.”
Rowello writes of her experience at a Pride parade:
While I can appreciate Rowello’s honesty and boldness in admitting where she stands, it doesn’t make her stance any easier to swallow. In fact, it makes it more appalling. She argues that the outlandish nature of the sexual displays at the parades is helpful for children to see. At one point in the piece, she tries to split hairs, claiming, “But kinksters at Pride are not engaged in sex acts — and we cannot confuse their self-expression with obscenity.” Ah yes, men aren’t actually having sex with one another, just pretending.
This is one of the worst arguments I’ve seen, and by this logic, we’d allow, and encourage, children to observe an array of pornography and abuse on the internet. After all, is it really happening? As a society, we condemn these things because children aren’t emotionally prepared to handle this material, and thus, it is tantamount to emotional and psychological abuse. Forcing children to watch sex acts among men and calling it “more nontraditional ways of being, living, and loving” is like forcing children to watch actors engage in a rape scene in a rated-R film so they can understand abuse of power and sexuality. Nonsense.
It’s not clear to me why learning about the “vitality of queer life” would be a goal for a parent to achieve for a child — and why said vitality must include the oft-mentioned “kink culture.” It’d be like putting your 8-year-old in a car, starting it, and pushing it down a hill hoping he or she doesn’t crash because someday she’ll have to navigate a vehicle.
Pride parades that flaunt kinky sexual acts are not for children. They are for adults, and they must be kept that way. This is not about equality, freedom, vitality of life, or sexuality: This is about the safety and security of children. There is a time and a place for parents to teach their children about sexuality, kinky or not. That time is not when children are young, and the place is not a Pride parade.
Nicole Russell (@russell_nm) is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog. She is a journalist who previously worked in Republican politics in Minnesota.
