Don’t call it a “manhole” in Berkeley anymore.
The city government voted last week to eliminate supposedly gendered words such as “manhole” from its laws.
No more will the citizens of Berkeley be oppressed by terms such as “male and female” or “manpower.” No, the people of that city will be redeemed by “people of different genders” employing their “human effort” to effect intersectional change. What a win for humanity!
“He” and “she” will become “they,” and the citizens of Berkeley, which has a crime rate 99% higher than the national average, will presumably now be safe.
Let’s imagine for a moment how this glorious city council decision, which passed by a unanimous vote, might have gone down. It sounds a lot like a scenario comedian John Mulaney imagines while discussing the Catholic Church’s decision to revamp its liturgy.
Mulaney, who grew up Catholic but doesn’t attend church anymore, says he attended Mass with his parents on Christmas Eve:
The Berkeley City Council members — not councilmen, but members, mind you — might have similarly perched around a table, scratching their heads. I imagine them asking: “What can we do about our crime rate, which is 99% percent higher than the national average, and our violent crime rate, which is jacked up 42%?”
Finding no solution, one bright young person — don’t assume their gender — pipes up with an idea that will turn Berkeley from a city with an absurd cost of living and a ridiculous rate of violent crime into an intersectional paradise. “What if we just turn our policemen into police officers?” It won’t help the crime rate, but it will help the city score more woke capital.
