On Earth One, Brian Kemp is the governor of Georgia, and former Vice President Joe Biden is the prohibitive front-runner in the Democratic presidential primary.
On Earth Two, Stacey Abrams is the governor of Georgia, and former Rep. Beto O’Rourke is a serious contender for the White House.
O’Rourke finally got off Iowa bars and countertops long enough to realize that he’s cratering in the polls. So, he put on a suit jacket (and a new shirt!) and fulfilled the first real requirement of a real presidential campaign: daytime television.
During an appearance on “The View,” O’Rourke predictably stumbled to sound like anything but a human stump speech. But most glaring was his admission that he’s living on Earth Three.
[Read more: Beto O’Rourke: ‘Nobody is born to be president’]
To his credit, O’Rourke conceded to co-host Meghan McCain that the media’s overlooked his repeated faux pas because he’s a man. But he also told a lie about Stacey Abrams’ behavior following her defeat in the Georgia gubernatorial election; it honestly makes his poop prank story seem less offensive.
“The grace with which she met that defeat on an unfair, unlevel playing field with the secretary of state, perhaps rigging in part that election,” O’Rourke said of Abrams. “If I were fortunate enough to be the nominee, it’s hard to imagine a scenario where I wouldn’t be fortunate enough to run with one of these extraordinary women in our country, either a contender now for the nomination or someone who’s not currently contending.”
It should go without saying that absent a shred of evidence, an election with a 55,000-vote margin cannot seriously be considered a “rigged” one. O’Rourke knows this, of course, and just needs to atone for his original sin of being a mediocre white man with a billionaire wife. But the notion that Abrams met her defeat gracefully, or even accepted it at all, is itself laughable. More than half a year after losing, Abrams still refuses to concede that she lost her election fair and square. She’s even cajoled supposedly legitimate political figures such as 2020 contender Sen. Kamala Harris, D-Calif., and Hillary Clinton into claiming that Kemp stole the election. (Though on Earth Two, Hillary Clinton is probably also president.)
So, O’Rourke is just the latest Democratic 2020 hopeful to step in line with the fictitious story of Georgia 2018. It won’t make him any less white, his bid any less doomed, or his charisma any less existent. But at least he’ll score a few woke points to cushion the blow when his political career inevitably ends.
