Washington Post contributor can see Russia from her house

The Washington Post, which was eager to follow the nonsense “collusion” narrative all the way to its pitiful conclusion, has revealed an even more nefarious connection between the White House and Russia. To wit, the newspaper has published an article uncovering a link between Russia and hamburgers, Trump’s favorite food.

This is a real thing published by a real newsroom.

“Even one of Trump’s favorite foods has a hidden Russia connection,” reads the story’s headline.

The article opens with these two paragraphs:

It’s high summer — hamburger season. The char, the fat, the squishy perfection of processed bread sopping up the overflowing juices — doesn’t it somehow seem like Americans’ birthright? There’s a reason that President Trump chose to serve hamburgers — twice — as an all-American feast for some all-American championship college football players.

But peel back the oil-spattered pages of history, and you’ll find that the sandwich so closely aligned with the stars and stripes was once also embraced by the hammer and sickle. (Yep, like so much about this current administration, even Trump’s beloved hamburgers have surprising ties to Russia.)

I looked and looked for a “satire” or “humor” tag on the story, but there is none to be found. I think this burger article was written in earnest.

What is wild is that there is a genuinely interesting story here, the one about how the Soviets addressed the food needs of its millions of captives, er, “citizens. The article’s author and the Washington Post chose instead to sell her story with an idiotic and totally unrelated Trump hook because they apparently cannot help themselves. They have become so addicted to harvesting all those sweet #Resistance clicks that they cannot even publish a fun story about the Soviets’ love for hamburgers without also shoehorning the president in there somewhere.

Wilder still is the fact that it is not until the fifth paragraph that readers learn that Americans introduced the Soviets to the burger, who then introduced it (or a version of it at least) to the USSR. To recap: The hamburger, which is distinctly American, was introduced to a delegation of Soviet bureaucrats during their visit to the United States in 1936. The Soviets took notes and then introduced the burger to their people, who loved it. But Trump also likes burgers, which, again, are an American invention. Ergo: Trump has a connection to Russia.

Good luck figuring that one out.

The wildest thing of all, however, is that the article itself says the burgers that eventually became popular in the USSR were basically nothing like what party leaders ate when they visited the U.S. in the mid-1930s.

The article reads:

“Yes, Mikoyan cutlets, or kotleti, were churned out en masse. Syutkin notes the original recipe “was a complete analogue of the American hamburger,” featuring minced meat and seasoning. But it quickly took on a distinctly Soviet character. Instead of disk-shaped patties, the Mikoyan factory eventually produced ones that were rounder with tapered ends, like footballs. And most strikingly, they were served sans bun, as bread crumbs were introduced into the patty itself as filler. “You can say that the Soviet mass-produce cutlet swallowed up the American hamburger and devoured it,” jokes Glushchenko.”

In conclusion, the Washington Post article explains, a thing that President Trump likes was the inspiration for a totally separate thing once consumed in massive quantities by the Soviets.

Were newsrooms always this deranged, or did the election of Trump simply make it obvious?

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