The Golden Globes nominations are out, and some fans are furious about a notable snub: I May Destroy You, a TV drama about consent and sexual assault, didn’t get a single nomination. This may mean little to most conservatives, who, as far as I can tell, haven’t watched the show.
Though it came out in June, I couldn’t find a right-wing review of I May Destroy You. That’s a shame. (But correct me if I’ve missed one!) Conservatives will find a lot to disagree with in the HBO series. But they might be surprised that not everything in the show, almost universally praised by liberal critics, unfolds as you’d expect.
While it may get some things wrong, the way I May Destroy You depicts sex and relationships is refreshingly human and, unfortunately, uncomfortably realistic. Just when you think a storyline will cover typical #MeToo, “social justice warrior” territory, it takes a turn, reminding the viewer that not everything in life fits a simple narrative.
The show follows Arabella, a millennial author living, writing, and vaping in London. When her drink is spiked during a night out, she is raped, a fact that only appears to her in hazy recollection the next day. She spends the rest of the show healing from the trauma, talking to the police, and trying to find out who did it. Meanwhile, she’s trying to find her voice as an author, and her friends are experiencing murky sexual encounters of their own.
The show strays from typical #MeToo territory by permitting gray areas. Of interest to conservatives is the way the show plays out different scripts we’ve seen in the #MeToo movement. After Arabella has a fling with a fellow author who lies about wearing a condom during a sexual encounter, she publicly accuses him of rape (“non-consensual condom removal” could be considered rape in the United Kingdom, where the show is set, and is “rape-adjacent” in the United States).
His reputation is so tarnished that he has to publish his book under a pseudonym. When the two reconnect near the end of the show, he helps Arabella finish her own book, and she seems to forgive him for his transgression, something you don’t see much in the news. (Her forgiveness isn’t dependent on his apology, but rather on her own choice not to wallow in victimhood.)
Arabella also spends part of one episode reflecting on a past abortion. Of course, nothing in the show will hint that it was the wrong decision, but it does seem to be a memory that brings Arabella some pain and regret. (That’s more than you can say for most of the show’s contemporaries, which present abortion as a positive, empowering choice.)
Another scene explores the way social media creates perverse incentives that encourage users to become more radicalized versions of themselves. After Arabella spends her Halloween complaining to thousands of fans about the injustice of the patriarchy through Instagram Live, the show cuts to her sitting at a table talking with her therapist. “There is so much injustice, and my job is to speak the truth,” she says piously, adding, “I can’t be complicit.” (Remember that, according to progressive circles, silence is violence.)
Instead of encouraging Arabella, however, her therapist asks, “Could you leave social media?”
I May Destroy You is hard to watch in parts, particularly because of the unflinching depictions of sexual violence. But despite the exuberant praise it has received from the Left, it’s not a show that conservatives should ignore. It engages with highly politicized issues in a nuanced way, one that can’t be easily categorized or written off as “woke.” In fact, the way it depicts the dark side of the sexual revolution (from hook-up culture to abortion) might be a little bit conservative. And if that gives both sides of the political spectrum some common ground, it’s worth our attention.
