As Catholics, we have no idea how many children have been abused at the hands of our Catholic leaders. Simply put, we know of thousands of current and ongoing sexual abuse allegations, but that number might only scrape the surface. And as a Catholic, I am heartbroken.
I firmly disagree with the Pope when he said that most of this abuse “happened in the past.” Current research informs us that one child in four will be victimized in their lifetime. We cannot deny that our children, of all faiths, from all walks of life, face a crisis at the hands of the adults who are supposed to care for and protect them.
Every day seems to bring new allegations against priests across the country, from Pennsylvania to Oregon and everywhere in between. While disheartened, part of me is happy to see this come to light — specifically, the part of me that has worked tirelessly to prevent these tragedies from occurring in the first place.
As a former Catholic educator, it is about time we change the conversation. It is about time we talk. I would never want a child to be harmed, but I am elated that more awareness is being brought to the systems that allow ongoing abuse to be covered up and dismissed. People in positions of power, authority and trust have gotten away with hurting those among us who are most vulnerable.
I suffer alongside fellow Catholics, and others who admire our pope and our church, at the atrocities perpetrated for over 70 years in Pennsylvania, for instance. And my heart hurt again when I heard that the New York attorney general sent subpoenas to Catholic dioceses under suspicion of another sex abuse scandal. I simultaneously let out a sigh of relief at the news of the $210 million bankruptcy settlement involving the Archdiocese of Saint Paul and Minneapolis and a sob knowing there are victims who have been fighting nearly four years too long for that resolution. I feel the pain, anger, disgust, and mortification at trying to explain a hierarchy that knowingly allowed such desecration of human life.
I am hopeful, however, that there is light at the end of this long and very dark tunnel. The news continues to develop, notably in Illinois, Missouri, Nebraska, and New Mexico, where attorney generals are moving to investigate sex abuse, and in New Jersey, where a criminal investigation is underway. This generates hope that awareness has opened opportunities for discussion; for a look into the future and what we can do now to prevent the calculated and systematic abuse that has infiltrated some of our most sacred institutions and cherished organizations. (I’m looking at you, too, youth sports.)
There are evidence-based and evidence-informed programs available to reach children. There is no excuse. Talk to your church, the private or public school your children attend, their sports coaches, about what they’re doing to protect our kids. Let’s figure out together what abuse looks like, who could be an abuser, why it is important to know the signs of abuse, and how it happens. It is only through acknowledgment and discussion that we will change the conversation. Parents and educators need to act now to stop abuse, instead of continuing to just react to it. We know that 95 percent of abuse is preventable through education. Youth-serving organizations must educate children on appropriate boundaries, warning signs of unacceptable behavior from adults or other children/teens, how to report to trusted, safe adults, and especially that if something happens to a child, it is not their fault.
While I am profoundly sad, I am optimistic because we are talking more about this and whispering less. I urge everyone, especially all parents, to read Pope Francis’ letter, read the reports from Pennsylvania, and then ask yourself, “Am I doing everything I can to protect, educate, and empower the children within my scope of care against all forms of abuse?”
If the answer is no, then do something about it. Educate yourself about the astronomical problem of victimization that faces our children. Teach your child to spot warning signs of inappropriate behavior and dangerous situations; and then advocate for stronger, more effective education to school administrators, religious leaders, coaches, and even legislators.
Ellen Rian is National Outreach Manager for The Monique Burr Foundation for Children, a nonprofit organization that has delivered evidence-based, evidence-informed abuse prevention curriculum to more than 2 million students nationwide.
