There was a poignant moment at the end of Super Bowl LIII when the cameras caught the NFL’s foremost frat bro waxing philosophical. “You’re a hell of a coach. You’re the best,” New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski told head coach Bill Belichick as they celebrated their win over the Los Angeles Rams. “We found a way; we found our identity. That’s all we needed to do. … Keep on grinding.”
With that, Gronkowski erupted into a goofy cackle. His Hall of Fame career was defined by clutch play on the field and playful exuberance off it. Arguably the best tight end in football, by the time of his retirement he was indisputably the game’s most colorful character. There was the beer-chugging during Super Bowl parades and the shirtless poses with porn stars, followed by sheepish apologies. Or the time in London’s Wembley Stadium when he capped his trademark post-score spike of the football with a marching routine.
“That little nutcracker dude that’s guarding the house,” Gronkowski explained, referring to the guards outside Buckingham Palace. “I like how he sits there but doesn’t stay still.” Gronk didn’t stay still either. You could find him on “Family Feud” or interrupting Sean Spicer’s press briefing at the White House. “You need some help?” he asked Spicer. For community service, he recorded a television spot warning young people against consuming Tide detergent pods, and he chauffeured people as an undercover Lyft driver.
Asked by a reporter from ESPN’s Spanish language network how he planned to celebrate a conference championship, Gronkowski replied with possibly his most memorable quote: “Yo soy fiesta.” He became known as the league’s top party animal, even as he lived off endorsement money rather than his player salary. A “Family Guy” episode portrayed Gronk as an unruly neighbor who threw loud parties by his hot tub filled with Dunkin’ Donuts coffee.
Most of these antics came after wins. Gronkowski also had big moments in losses. In the only season the Patriots failed to make the Super Bowl since the 2014-2015 season, Gronk nearly brought them back there. He caught a 40-yard pass on fourth down toward the end of the 2016 AFC championship game, then a touchdown. A two-point conversion would have tied the game, but the attempt failed. Tom Brady should have thrown to Gronk instead; he was open yet again.
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In a possible preview of his post-football career, Gronk made his WrestleMania debut slipping through the ropes to help out his friend, wrestler Mojo Rawley, by slamming into opponent Jinder Mahal. It was all fun and games, but the appearance came months after Gronkowski missed Super Bowl LI due to injury. He also tested the team’s patience when he appeared at a press conference for a dirt bike rally rather than optional Patriots workouts.
“I’ve been riding dirt bikes. I’ve been training really hard; I can vroom vroom really good,” Gronk said. Would he soon practice with his football teammates? “No, I’ve got my dirt biking skills to work on.”
Gronkowski lacked the durability and longevity of other legendary tight ends, such as Tony Gonzalez, Antonio Gates, or the recently unretired Jason Witten. But his game was more complete than many of his contemporaries. Jimmy Graham and murderous Patriots teammate Aaron Hernandez were glorified wide receivers. Gronk was a punishing blocker in the run game to the end.
That’s not to minimize Gronkowski the receiving threat. He caught 521 passes for 7,861 yards and 79 touchdowns in nine occasionally injury-shortened seasons. In his rookie campaign, nearly a quarter of his receptions went for touchdowns. The following year, he scored 18 times — 17 receiving touchdowns, one rushing — on the way to amassing 90 catches for 1,327 yards.
It wasn’t all a fiesta. Gronk’s family clashed with the Patriots over injury rehab, believing the team once rushed their star tight end back too soon. He quibbled on social media with the terms of his contract and chafed under Belichick’s strict coaching, reportedly contemplating retirement as early as 2017. “Abusing your body isn’t what your brain wants,” he told reporters.
Yet unlike Wes Welker, Randy Moss, or Deion Branch, Gronk remained with the Patriots his whole career. He rejected a trade, insisting the only quarterback he’d play for was Brady. When there were rumors of Brady’s decline after a few bad games in 2014, Gronkowski vowed, “I’m going to make 12 look like Tom Brady again.” He did. And though his body began to break down last season, his 29-yard reception over two defenders in the Super Bowl set up the game’s only touchdown.
New Englanders can hardly believe the party is over. Gronkowski’s own agent is stoking rumors that he will unretire next season. But if the Super Bowl was indeed Gronkowski’s final game, he will have gone out on top. A champion whose receiving yards in that contest were the same as his soon-to-be-retired jersey number: 87.
W. James Antle III is the editor of the American Conservative.
