Information and operational security is something this old soldier takes very seriously. That’s why this column is difficult to write. Faithful reader, because you peruse these hallowed pages in search of truth, I’m about to break Omertà. I’m going to tell you about the shadow organization that’s infiltrated every branch of the United States Military. The E4 mafia.
All branches of the military have nine enlisted ranks E1 — E9, with different names for the ranks depending upon the service branch. The lower four ranks are the junior enlisted. They make few important decisions. Senior among the junior enlisted, the E4s — Army Specialist, Air Force Senior Airman, Marine Corporal, and Navy Petty Officer Third Class — know their jobs, and more importantly, they know how the military operates. They’ve worked hard to rise to their current rank, not necessarily due to dedication or a desire to promote, but because all the crappy work details were dumped upon them on their way up. They’re determined to keep the s**t flowing past them on its way downhill.
Sergeant.” Specialist McCThe mafia knows the importance of appearing squared away. E4 uniforms and haircuts always meet the regulation standard to avoid upsetting a superior who might assign extra work for a uniform infraction.
They are in no rush to promote, and they embrace mediocrity, avoiding work whenever possible.
I remember being an Army specialist, joking around with my fellow mafiosi when we were performing Preventative Maintenance Checks and Service (PMCS) on several vehicles. Private Jones rushed toward us. “Finished the PMCS!”
“Whoa!” I said. “Slow down, highspeed. You need to check every mechanical thing on the list, for every vehicle.”
“I did!”
My fellow E4s groaned.
“Check them all again,” I said.
“Why?”
“Because our superiors have allocated two hours for this task. We do this until lunch.”
“But it only took me twenty minutes.”
I looked at the kid. “Private. This job is going to take us two hours. If we finish early, the NCOs will just get mad and make us do something else. Why do you think we’re all holding these clipboards with the Humvee hood up? Go over there and appear to be looking at some machine parts until someone orders you to do otherwise.”
The E4 mafia knows how to appear busy and how to vanish. If a sergeant drops the dreaded phrase, “I need a volunteer,” the mafia can slip away to supply cages or behind buildings in seconds. If escape is impossible, they are practiced at avoiding eye contact or any movement that might draw the NCO’s attention and get them voluntold. Wait for the newbie to say “for what?” Interest is implied consent.
Of course, many promote above E4. The best of those remember and never betray their old mafia pals. When finding the E4s in some hiding place, a good NCO won’t punish, but will exploit a resource.
“Good work on inventory,” Sergeant Carruthers might say. “But the list says we’re short a fuel can.”
“Think I know where it is, loskey would then sneak the can from another platoon’s vehicle, thus making sure his guys were squared away.
CLICK HERE TO READ MORE FROM THE WASHINGTON EXAMINER
Above all, the E4 mafia never betrays its own, and its members never acknowledge its existence. When I asked a Facebook veterans group for details about the E4 mafia, my fellow veterans said it was a myth, and then they made fun of me.
You may think America’s military is run by generals and admirals, but I assure you, the E4 mafia is what really keeps the military moving. They know how to get the job done, and they know how to sucker others into doing it. You may not be able to find them, especially if there’s work to be done, but the E4 mafia is very real. I’ve risked a great deal to bring you this information.
Trent Reedy, author of several books including Enduring Freedom, served as a combat engineer in the Iowa National Guard from 1999 to 2005, including a tour of duty in Afghanistan.
*Some names and call signs in this story may have been changed due to operational security or privacy concerns.
** This article originally misstated the Marine Corps rank for E4, which is a corporal, not a lance corporal. In addition, this article originally stated that Marine and Navy E4s were not non-commissioned officers, though in those branches they are. The Washington Examiner regrets these errors.
