You’re not paranoid if Siri's out to get you

I had lunch recently with a few friends, and at a certain point the conversation took an awkward turn. We were having a completely normal discussion — it was even a little boring, if you ask me — about families and children and the complications that arise when divorced people with children marry other divorced people with children, when suddenly the energy at the table shifted. There was a noticeable chill in the air.

At least, I thought so. But I’ve learned the hard way never to acknowledge socially awkward moments when they’re happening. The wisest strategy is to wait and gossip about it later.