If you aren’t willing to replace plastic straws with flimsy paper alternatives, you don’t care about the environment. We have to save the planet, and we’re going to do it one straw at a time.
At least, that’s what we’ve been told.
McDonald’s, ever the good corporate citizen, swapped out plastic for paper in Ireland and the U.K. in 2018. But just recently, the burger giant revealed that it would not recycle its paper straws. All the materials are recyclable, but their thickness makes them too difficult to process, according to a company spokesperson. Meanwhile, its old plastic straws were 100% recyclable.
Oops.
The company had switched to paper straws to virtue-signal its environmental bonafides. But on the score of actually helping the planet, this move looks like a dud. In all honesty, they probably knew it wouldn’t work all along.
A company insider told the press: “When McDonald’s introduced paper straws it was getting pats on the back for being environmentally responsible. But it seems like it was a stunt to appease green campaigners because the things go straight in the rubbish. It’s ridiculously stupid.”
Consumers think paper straws are rubbish, too. One petition to bring back plastic straws has now gained 50,000 signatures. The paper straws crumble mid-drink in a matter of minutes. Paradoxically, this often leads to the use of two or three straws in one milkshake or other thick drink, thereby increasing waste.
The petition’s creator, Martin Reed, was asked why bringing back plastic straws was important. He offered a simple answer: “So I can drink my milkshake proper.”
—By Brad Polumbo
