Over at the group therapy session that is Slate magazine’s advice column, the latest liberal to lament their financial woes whines that after finally becoming a first-time homebuyer, “the absolute worst-case scenario happened.” Did Hurricane Helene wash the home away? Did the Palisades Fire burn it to the ground? Did a career criminal repeatedly released without bail by a Soros prosecutor burglarize the home in question?

Nope. Instead, like most of the country did four years ago and millions of essential workers never stopped doing, roughly 1 million federal workers have been summoned by President Donald Trump to return to the office full time. But despite the banality of Trump’s demand, federal workers have fulminated, with thousands protesting across Washington and at least 40,000 federal workers, or nearly 2% of Uncle Sam’s total workforce, accepting a stated eight months of severance payments to quit before the return-to-office deadline.