The most famous merchant of America, Jeff Bezos, got married in Venice over the last weekend of June. While the world gawked at the $50 million price tag of the festivities, the 90 private jets of 200 fellow billionaires and Hollywood celebrities who descended on the Italian islands, and the gilded and garish parade of all the jewels, haute couture, and paparazzi posing that went along with it, critics were obsessed with the bride.

Katie Couric mocked Lauren Sanchez’s “big hair” and “conspicuous consumption” as evidence that “tacky is back.” Rosie O’Donnell called the bride Bezos’s “fake fem bot wife.”