The recent explosion of celebrities offering the rest of us utterly nonsensical direction on how we should change our behavior in the global warming age can only have one explanation: “An Inconvenient Truth” producer Laurie David, recording artist Sheryl Crow and third-generation scion Robert Kennedy are secretly on Big Oil’s payroll.
How else to make sense, for example, of the two women’s view that toilet paper should be rationed to one square per trip to the potty. In response, politicians, environmental experts and media opinionators left and right spent Monday poo-pooing such a goofy idea. Even far-left monster mouth Rosie O’Donnell got into the scatological act as David and Crow became worldwide laughingstocks.
Jokes about toilet paper rationing thus became the introduction to global warming for millions of people from Australia to Zimbabwe. And there’s the payoff for Big Oil — it’s hard to take global warming seriously when people are laughing in the water closet.
Surely, David and Crow wouldn’t allow themselves to be used like this unless they’re getting something really big in return. Big Oil must be spending beaucoup bucks. Goodness knows the two ladies need help with their gas bills. David recently flew in for a speech at Texas A&M. An Aggie student who works at the local airport said David’s private jet trailed a plume of black smoke for miles in its wake as it approached and departed College Station. Being former Vice President Al Gore’s Oscar compatriot, David is a much-in-demand speaker, so she’s leaving lots of smoky plumes in the air we breathe these days.
As for Crow, she tours most of the year doing concerts and dishing out liberal propaganda across the nation. Like David’s private jet, Crow’s tour entourage needs lots of gas when she hits the road with her three buses, four trailers and six cars, according to documents posted by The Smoking Gun.
Then there’s Kennedy, whose grinning visage currently graces Vanity Fair’s “Green Issue,” along with his memoirs of learning falconry at the foot of his father, a noted 1960s environmentalist. Vanity Fair clearly wants to be the new chic reference book for environmentally aware Beautiful People on the Upper East Side, Martha’s Vineyard, the City by the Bay and LaLa Land. These people don’t care a whit that Kennedy accepts charity oil from Venezuelan bully Hugo Chavez and thus helps legitimize a tin horn dictator intent on humiliating America and inflicting on his nation the same poverty and oppression his hero Castro gave Cuba.
What a brilliant strategy for Big Oil — branding global warming forever as the cause worth getting one’s hands truly dirty and giving aid and comfort to a guy who still thinks Castro is cool.
