Patrick Stewart has agreed to reprise his role of Jean-Luc Picard, the iconic captain from “Star Trek: The Next Generation.”
The response from “Star Trek” fans has so far been warmer than a cup of tea, Earl Grey, hot (sorry). But it’s worth remembering that Trekkies are notoriously hard to please.
While details surrounding the show have been cloaked better than a Romulan Bird-of-Prey (sorry), here’s some free advice on how to keep the fan base satisfied.
1. Pay homage to “Star Trek IV” by having Picard visit modern-day San Francisco.
2. Reveal that every “Star Trek” movie after 1996 was actually just an elaborate Holodeck simulation.
3. Limit the amount of mysterious energy beings to 3 per season, tops.
4. Have Picard finally make Q shut up for, like, 20 seconds.
5. Bring back Whoopi Goldberg. Then continue the time-honored “Next Generation” tradition of having Guinan solve everything.
6. Actually, you know what? Picard’s back. The entire series could just be episodes of Patrick Stewart wailing on the Ressikan flute and we’d still be happy.
Justin Duckham (@Jduckham) is a correspondent for Talk Media News. Garth von Ahnen is a cartoonist and satirist based in Santa Cruz, Calif. His work can be seen at ArtByGarth.com. The two have contributed comics to the Washington Examiner and Mediaite, and earned an honorable mention from the National Press Club for the Angele Gingras Humor Writing award.
