Harvey Weinstein. Kevin Spacey. Bill O’Reilly. Casey Affleck. Mark Halperin. Matt Lauer. All these men, and more, are now lumped together under one umbrella with the label “sexual predator.” As if they’re animals rather than humans.
That is, of course, how many in the media want you to think of any man who’s accused of sexual harassment. That there’s more to the story is irrelevant. We are an anti-male, pro-female country. And so the fallback theme is: man perpetrator/woman victim. Or: man guilty/woman innocent.
Some of the accused are even sympathetic to this false narrative. And so those who dare to suggest women play a role in this dance, as Angela Lansbury did, are immediately ostracized and subsequently forced to qualify their statements.
Men are scum. Case closed.
It’s all so very effective. After all, men are stronger; and there are more of them in positions of power than there are women. So it’s easy to point the finger and go along with the status quo.
But those who think for themselves know that men and women are equally capable of bad behavior. Let me repeat that so it sinks in: Men and women are equally capable of bad behavior.
Indeed, a common theme of these harassment stories—at least the ones that are more murky than obvious—is that the accused say there’s more to the story than meets the eye. The men admit they took part in the mess, but almost all have suggested some of their accusers were willing participants.
The truth is, wherever we find women and men we are going to find sex. There’s no way to put the sexes together in a close-knit industry—particularly those like Hollywood and the news media, which emphasize sex and beauty for profit—and think nothing’s going to happen.
Yes, there are women in the workplace who are taken advantage of by men who clearly lack character. And there are ways to teach our daughters how to deal with this fact. But many grown women are just as eager as men to engage in “inappropriate sexual behavior.” Indeed, most women love to be the one the powerful man chooses. And who’s kidding whom? It’s sexy to be bad behind closed doors. Movies and television sell this message every day. Did we honestly think it would have no impact?
Matt Lauer is the latest man to be accused of sexual harassment, and he has now gone on the record with his apology. He is unquestionably not the family man America thought he was. But like others who’ve been accused, Lauer noted that some of the claims are “untrue or mischaracterized.”
That is no doubt all he will say, but behind that statement is an entire story. It’s a salacious story, and I assure you it doesn’t look like what the media would have you believe. It isn’t a story about a bad man who preys upon innocent, unsuspecting women. It’s a story about sex and power and what they can do when opportunity arises. It’s about temptation, excitement, and (dare I say it) sin. Both men and women are equally flawed, and they are equally capable of sin.
Yes, there’s more the story.
But we’ll never hear it.
Suzanne Venker (@SuzanneVenker) is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog. She is an author, Fox News contributor, and trustee of Leading Women for Shared Parenting. Her fifth book, “The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage: HOW LOVE WORKS,” was published in February.
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