Recently MSN reported about a boy who came out as transgender at a staggeringly young age. “One day, three-year-old Emma came to her parents with a question: ‘Why do people call me a “he” when I’m a “she?”‘” MSN goes on to say Emma “protested her assigned gender” and now, at age six, continues to live as a girl. Emma looks cute in the video now and the story of family acceptance and love sounds warm and fuzzy — but it’s not healthy, nor will it be warm and fuzzy as Emma ages.
Sexuality can be a complicated, but often a coming-of-age thing. As a mother of four, my 10-year old is still barely noticing the opposite sex (thank God) — or questioning anything about his own sexuality — though I’m sure that will change soon enough.
On the other hand, a few weeks ago, my three-year-old boy found all his sisters dress-up clothes and subsequently slipped on a purple, frilly tutu.
Is he transgender? Gay? No. He’s a boy observing the world around him and copying what he sees his sisters wear. After showing me his outfit, I laughed, reminded him he was a boy, and told him to put on his cape. (I know, I’m such a monster for enforcing traditional stereotypes. A Paypal button is located below for their future therapy.)
This used to be normal and accepted, but now, suddenly a kid, who under most circumstances would literally have no concept of gender or sex at least enough to express verbally — they certainly have some innate wiring and emotions — is allowed to express not only gender dysphoria, but transition to a desired, different gender.
Don’t get me wrong: Gender dysphoria is very real — but also very treatable. It’s not a physical issue but a psychological one, much like anorexia. The problem with an anorexic isn’t that she’s too thin, it’s that her mind is fooling her into thinking she’s too fat. Just like we don’t just tell the anorexic it’s okay to starve herself, we shouldn’t give into the gender dysphoric toddler and tell them to simply “change” their gender via clothes, surgery, a new name or hormone blockers.
Yet that’s exactly what parents are doing — particularly with very, very young children. The lack of accountability and age appropriate guidance is mind boggling. In a hyper-vigilant society, most parents wouldn’t let their kids under the age of 10 ride a city bus alone or ride a bike to a local convenience store for milk. Heck, I don’t let my three-year-old cross a busy street without an adult or older siblings, but parents should wholeheartedly accept a child “knows” if he is a different gender?
The title of the piece is “Transgender kindergartner loved for who she is.” Real love would be not allowing a three-year-old to give into what’s likely a fantasy at best, gender dysphoria at worst, and pursue a lifestyle of a different gender, increasing his chances of suicide, depression and anxiety. Paul McHugh, a psychiatrist at Johns Hopkins said research shows kids transitioning from one gender to another doesn’t alleviate these symptoms because the core issues haven’t been addressed.
Parents don’t know everything, but it’s our job to guide, love and protect — all three things together. Truth and love develop character, resilience and wisdom. It’s as imperative to show our children the truth about psychology and gender as it is to show them love and acceptance.
Nicole Russell is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog. She is a journalist in Washington, D.C., who previously worked in Republican politics in Minnesota. She was the 2010 recipient of the American Spectator’s Young Journalist Award.
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