Nothing drives the commentariat crazier than the prospect of losing Roe v. Wade, the 1973 Supreme Court decision abolishing all state bans on abortion.

If they see someone so much as looking at the ruling funny, they lose their composure entirely, succumbing to outlandish, feverish fantasies pulled from the wildest corners of their minds. They’ve certainly been doing that the past few weeks in response to rumors that President Trump may nominate Judge Amy Coney Barrett, a devout Roman Catholic, to succeed outgoing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy.