How do you say ‘Bless your heart’ in Norwegian?

Well, this is embarrassing.

New York Times best-selling author Rebecca Morris thought she had made a shocking discovery in her Greenwood, Seattle, neighborhood. It appeared that someone in her community had hoisted high the flag of the Confederate States of America.

Unbelievable! In this day and age! President Trump’s influence reaches far indeed.

But as it turns out, Morris’ neighbor, whom she never actually questioned about the flag, was not flying the secessionist banner of the American Civil War.

He was flying the flag of Norway. Because he’s a Norwegian-American, and he’s excited about the 2018 Winter Olympics.

Oof.

The reason we know about any of this is because the busybody Morris narc’d on her neighbor. She sent the Seattle Times a tip suggesting they investigate the supposedly offensive flag. She wrote to the Times [emphasis added]:

“Hi. Suddenly there is a Confederate flag flying in front of a house in my Greenwood neighborhood. It is at the north-east corner of 92nd and Palatine, just a block west of 92nd and Greenwood Ave N. I would love to know what this ‘means’ … but of course don’t want to knock on their door. Maybe others in the area are flying the flag? Maybe it’s a story? Thank you.”

She would’ve discovered her boneheaded mistake pretty quickly, and privately, had she just done the neighborly thing and asked the man about his flag. Instead, she made a great fool of herself by ratting him out him to the local newspaper.

This is actually worse than the time a Boston Herald staffer reported incorrectly that the Houston Astros had honored the Puerto Rican victims of Hurricane Maria during an opening ceremony last fall. (The Texas and Puerto Rican flags vaguely resemble one another.)

As for Morris’ neighbor, Darold Norman Stangeland, he told the Times, “I’m a proud Norwegian-American. My parents emigrated here in the mid-1950s. He skippered tugboats.”

Here’s a bit of unsolicited advice: If it gets to the point where you start seeing the ghost of Robert E. Lee in national flags, you should disconnect more often from social media and politics. Unwind a bit, and take a deep breath. The life political is not only going to lead to an early grave, but it will also make you look like a fool in the process.

Dying stupid is no way to go.

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