There’s a special tediousness to people who take ages to order their food or drink.
I bring this up in light of the recent Ohio Burger King incident, in which a manager screamed at customers who couldn’t make up their minds about what to order.
Don’t get me wrong; I recognize that the manager was out of line in her actions. Indeed, she should be fired. But that said, I also have some sympathy for those service industry professionals who have to deal with lethargic customers. This is especially annoying at busy bars.
We’ve all been there. Just one more person stands between you and a drink. “What can I get you?” the bartender asks.
Then comes that most horrific of responses. “Hmmm.”
I particularly despise the “hmmm” because it illustrates the utter disregard of the utterer towards those waiting in line behind them.
Thirty seconds later, you’re still waiting for the moron to decide what they want. The only solace is a shared look of rage with the bartender.
Unfortunately, in the age of craft breweries and Bud Light prejudice, this problem is only getting worse.
We must resist this slow war on the pursuit of happiness. The purpose of an entertaining night out is to be entertained, not to waste time with incompetent fellow guests. The easy solution is to look at the board above the bar, or the beer taps behind the bar, or the menus sitting on the bar, and decide what you want to order before your time in the line arrives.
If not, we must endorse Larry David’s example of calibrated escalation.
