If ever you find yourself driving in West Vancouver, British Columbia, don’t. You may find yourself on the wrong side of the law for the supposed crime of … leaving a tire mark on a public crosswalk?
“West Vancouver Police are investigating a mischief to property, after someone defaced the department’s new Pride crosswalk,” law enforcement officials announced this week in a statement.
It adds, “On July 7, 2020 at 4:04 pm staff inside the police station heard a loud and sustained tire squealing outside. When officers took a closer look, they discovered that someone had just left tire marks across a portion of the crosswalk, at the intersection of 16th St and Esquimalt Ave.”
The vehicle, the statement continues, “left the area at a high rate of speed and was not located.”
If you think this all sounds rather silly, just wait until you see the West Vancouver Police Department’s evidence that a motorist allegedly “defaced” the “Pride crosswalk”:
Investigators would like to speak with the driver responsible for defacing a recently installed Pride crosswalk at 16th St. and Esquimalt Ave. If you have information, please call 604-925-7300. https://t.co/ywkNR4DMAv pic.twitter.com/ViW0ZxcxYN
— West Vancouver PD (@WestVanPolice) July 8, 2020
Believe it or not, the story gets sillier.
“This is very upsetting,” said Communications Officer Kevin Goodmurphy. “For whatever reason, this person has chosen to leave a gesture of hate on a crosswalk that stands for the exact opposite.”
It is one thing to suspect ill-intent on the part of the motorist. It is another thing entirely to refer to tire marks on a public crosswalk — where vehicles are allowed to drive! — as a “gesture of hate.” What next, will they claim the tire mark resembles the “OK” symbol?
The supposed crime was captured on CCTV footage, leading West Vancouver police to put out a “Be on the Lookout” order for a 1999-2004 black Ford Mustang with red racing stripes.
Look, I am just spitballing here, but have the police considered the possibility that maybe — just maybe! — the tire marks are the result of a motorist who enjoys driving his black Ford Mustang with racing stripes like it is a black Ford Mustang with racing stripes?
“We have had nothing but support from community members following the installation of the crosswalk, and we know that those people represent the majority,” Goodmurphy said.
The West Vancouver Police have asked the locals with information on the supposed crime to contact the police directly or if they wish to remain anonymous, to contact the Crime Stoppers hotline.
Is there literally nothing else going on in West Vancouver that the police would waste their time assuming a bigot had defaced a “Pride crosswalk” with a faint tire mark? Speaking of assuming the worst, this entire episode calls back to C.S. Lewis’s remarks in Mere Christianity regarding the sort of man who wants to believe in his worst fears. We will end here with Lewis’s thoughts on hoping the worst of one’s enemies:
