***Major spoilers ahead.***
For those of you unfamiliar with TV lore, the term “jumping the shark” comes from an episode of “Happy Days” where Fonzie literally jumps over a shark while waterskiing and wearing his trademark leather jacket. For many viewers, this ridiculous moment marked the beginning of the end of “Happy Days.”
“Game of Thrones” just jumped the zombie ice dragon.
Episodes five and six of the show’s seventh season have tested the patience of even the most dedicated “Game of Thrones” viewers, of which I count myself.
In a plan that can only be described as “completely moronic” and “totally out of character,” Tyrion Lannister suggests that the King of North go to capture an ice zombie to prove to his crazy sister that the dead are in fact real and coming to kill them all.
Putting aside that bringing a zombie south to prove their existence has been tried before and failed, it relies on important characters taking totally unnecessary risks for unnecessary reasons.
It’s already been established that those who die beyond the wall are turned into zombies without the help of the White Walkers. In fact, Jon Snow saves the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch from of one of these zombies in season one for which he is gifted his Valyrian Steel sword.
If that’s the case, why not just wait for someone about to die and take them beyond the wall and see what happens, instead of embarking on a suicide mission?
Even granting that no one thought of this perfectly logical idea before some of the most important people in the realm decided to embark on said suicide mission, once the party is beyond the wall and some redshirts are gravely injured, why not wait to see if that person becomes a zombie. In fact, when one of the primary characters in their party does die, they burn the body for that exact reason.
Risking the lives of some of the most important people in the world in this manner makes no sense unless you are simply trying to create a large battle in the penultimate episode of the season.
Predictably, these foolish decisions lead to our merry band of misfits being surrounded by said zombies. In another braver, better-written version of this show, such decisions would have resulted in all those characters dying.
Instead, we are treated to Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, earning a new title – Provider of Deus Ex Machina – when she rides in and saves the day on her dragons.
If the show was living up to its source material or previous seasons, this wouldn’t have happened and would have been physically impossible.
You see, Daenerys and her dragons were at Dragonstone, more than half the continent and roughly 1500 miles away from Eastwatch, where the party started from. We have to believe in the time that Gendry, who had never seen snow before, could run back, send a raven all that distance, then have Daenerys fly north of the Wall in the time for broken ice to refreeze in sub-zero temperatures for the Army of the Dead to close in on our heroes.
Not to go all Monty Python, but it’s impossible even in this world.
If magical, teleporting characters weren’t enough, after the rest of the party is rescued by her dragons, Jon Snow decides to fight instead and is pulled down into the ice.
After improbably crawling out, he is then saved by his undead uncle who just happens to be in the neighborhood.
I know this is a fantasy show, but come on.
Even though it may seem ridiculous to criticize the logical consistency of a show that contains dragons, pet direwolves, and girls who wear the faces of other people, “Game of Thrones” had spent years to maintain historical, geographical, and logical consistency.
The series on which it’s based, “A Song of Ice and Fire” by George R.R. Martin, is nothing if not meticulous. The books laid out a rich tapestry as well as guide rails for the show to follow, which it did to near-perfection for the first few seasons.
The show captured the essence of Martin’s deconstruction of the fantasy genre, constantly upending audience expectations in intelligent ways.
The honorable “main” character willing to do anything to protect his family beheaded before season 1 ends.
His son who marries for love instead of political convenience? Murdered at his uncle’s wedding, along with his pregnant wife and mother.
But for all these horrifying moments for the audience, none of them felt random. Instead, characters were being punished for their stupid mistakes. Even though this was a fantasy world, very few things felt fantastical about it. Instead, the show and the books showed the horrors of both the everyday and the noble people who inhabited it.
Additionally, the world felt tangible. The map at the beginning of the show gave the world a sense of place. Characters worried about paying banking debts or feeding their people. Knowledge was dispersed and characters fought hard to obtain it.
This has continued to be less and less true as the show has diverged from the books.
While most fans were willing to accept a certain amount of hand-waving as this season was shortened from the usual 10 to seven episodes, particularly in terms of shortening travel times for key characters, the last two weeks have shattered the illusion of a believable world.
Fans have loved the “Game of Thrones” because it was willing to upset typical fantasy convention. Instead, at what should be its moment of glory, the show is falling into the same tired and lazy writing its lesser peers rely on.
Fans who have invested so much time and love getting to explore the nuances of this world deserve better than for the finale of their journey to be completed with magical hand-waving. Even more importantly, George R.R. Martin deserves more than to see the world he has created destroyed in so little time.
Anything less is simply too cruel.
Eric Peterson is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog. He is a native of Illinois and all-around nerd. His love of film probably comes from the fact that “Groundhog Day” was filmed in his hometown, which he heard about over and over and over again.
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