Losing the human race

Published April 21, 2023 2:07am ET




If you have children, your posterity is potentially infinite. Play your cards right, and, as God said to Abraham, your descendants may be as numerous as “the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore.” If you do not have children, your posterity is three days long. That is the time it will take for your cats to realize that they cannot open tinned food and that your corpse is the nearest source of protein. They will start by eating your eyes, as the gelatinous matter is highly nutritious, and then chew your face off.

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