It’s that time of year again! Get ready for too many moments of forced family fun that will leave you muttering, “Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.”
Time at the holidays with family can be stressful. But throw in a few political opinions and the end of a campaign season that was straight out of “Saturday Night Live” and the likelihood of a meltdown between you and Uncle Jim seems higher this year.
Because I assume you want to avoid devastating your family relationships over the existence/non-existence of income inequality, preparation is key. No matter what political topic comes up between dinner bites, here is a flowchart and game plan to respond with kindness and love.
Do you want to have this fight?
No: You have the option to avoid all political conversation and arguments. When in doubt? Shove mashed potatoes in your mouth. My rule of thumb for Thanksgiving is often defined by carbs over conflict. You’ll thank me later.
Yes: If you decide this is a debate worth having, then by all means jump in. Here are three things to consider…
If yes…
There are many things we can agree on over the holidays, including the desire to not burn every familial bridge. No one wants this for you, and you don’t want it for yourself.
As you walk into dinner, think through the policy issues you disagree on first, and then have a strategy to tie that disagreement back to agreement. Listen first, acknowledge their concerns, and then pivot to an issue you agree on. A few examples:
Obamacare
We’re in the middle of open enrollment season and Americans are seeing their premiums skyrocket — more than 22 percent just this year, on average. Even President Clinton called Obamacare the “craziest thing in the world.” (Wouldn’t that be a fun Thanksgiving dinner table to sit around?) Yet, you may have a family member still buying the company line that Obamacare is good for those who need insurance. What’s the best way to respond?
Tip: Personal anecdotes are plenty and powerful. Talk about how your premiums have tripled or how you no longer have access to the plans you want. Also, use stats and examples that prove Obamacare has achieved the opposite of what we were promised. Focus on the broken system, higher costs, longer wait times and less choice.
Income inequality
After this election cycle, you might break into hives if you hear “income inequality” one more time. Me too. But maybe you have a cousin who likes to throw the term around like confetti, especially at family gatherings. What’s the best way to engage in a thoughtful discussion with a big government lover?
Tip: While the words “income inequality” aren’t threatening on a piece of paper, we know the phrase means something entirely different in political conversation since being hijacked by the big government side. A good place to start is to use different language. Use phrases like “equal opportunity,” “hard work” or “achieve the American dream” to better illustrate your point. It’s more effective to give someone the opportunity to succeed instead of handing out freebies.
Taxes
It’s all fun and games until Uncle Jim changes the subject during dinner to tax policy. While this issue might glaze over just as many eyes as it does candied yams, it’s a different story when charges of “tax the rich” and “the 1 percent” get interjected. How do you combat feel-good sounding words with fact and numbers? Because we all know calculators don’t have feelings.
Tip: Use examples and numbers to combat those nice-sounding phrases. That 1 percent argument? Say something like, “The rich can afford to pay more, but you know who can’t? Everyone else. The more money the rich are forced to give to Uncle Sam, the more they have to downsize, which often leads to fewer jobs for you and me. It’s a losing situation.”
Words
Make sure you use words and phrases that convey understanding like, “I understand what you are saying” or “here’s where I agree with you.” You can diffuse a potential argument if you use these phrases. In addition, however, tone is important. Keep it calm.
Sure, you can’t choose the family that will sit around the table with you in t-minus two days. But you can choose how you direct the conversation. If you want to debate politics as you pass the turkey, go for it. Just be prepared, and make it your number one goal to sacrifice talking points for the sake of family.
Beverly Hallberg is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog. She is president of District Media Group. Thinking of submitting an op-ed to the Washington Examiner? Be sure to read our guidelines on submissions.
