No, it’s not just another extension of First Lady Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign — according to a new report, D.C. Metro’s escalators are breaking down more frequently and take longer to repair, according to The Examiner‘s own Kytja Weir:
Metro also is taking longer to fix the escalators when they fail, the report showed. In 2008, it took Metro just under 10 hours on average to fix a broken escalator. But in 2010, the average had crept up to 14 hours.
These are not escalators, see. They’re “surprise stairs.” While riding them, you can get the nice surprise of getting piled in a heap. Or, you can just get a work out. Who knows? It’s kind of like the lottery!
Metro has resumed installing some canopies above particularly troublesome escalators. Crews are working on a one-year, $6 million project to add a canopy and new escalators to the Foggy Bottom stop.
Yes, America. We have indoor “escalators” (whoops, I mean “surprise stairs”) outside that, shocker, suffer mechanical failures all the time. And those surprise stairs, by the way, include the Dupont Circle North exit, with 319 steps. You basically have to climb 188 feet to get to the top. The lack of canopy in the winter means that you have to deal with ice and wet leaves while en route, making it also a “surprise slip’n slide.” Shackleton never had it so tough.
If you think this sounds crazy it is. Can’t they just put up temporary tents that would at least block the elements? We can at least call them “surprise tents.”
