Two years ago, Vice President Mike Pence became an object of cultural derision for saying he would not dine alone with any woman but his wife or attend events featuring alcohol without her by his side.
Dubbed the “Pence Rule,” but originally known as the “Billy Graham Rule,” Pence’s exclusivity earned him a slew of titles, including religious extremist and enemy of women. But as it turns out, the majority of people who support the Pence Rule are, in fact, women.
According to a new Morning Consult survey, 60% of women think it is inappropriate for a married person to have a drink with someone of the opposite sex who is not their spouse. Only 48% of men agreed (and, apparently, about zero percent of pundits inside the Beltway).
A majority of women (53%) believe it is also inappropriate for a married woman to have dinner alone with a man who is not her spouse. 45% percent of men agreed with this. On the other hand, lunch alone is less controversial — only 44% of women and 36% of men considered it “inappropriate.”
This makes sense. Religious standards have remained consistent in condemning adultery by anyone, but society has long been harder on women for their infidelities. Perhaps some remnant of this double standard still exists.
Female caution is natural for a number of reasons, ranging from the harsh view society takes of unfaithful women to the fact that women face a greater safety risk around men than men do around women. It is also statistically true that women face a greater threat from men they know and trust than from strangers.
This isn’t to say women shouldn’t develop close friendships with the opposite sex. But there is also nothing wrong with using common sense in spending time with people in one-on-one social situations, especially when something as important as one’s marriage is potentially on the line. Pence was ridiculed for valuing his relationship with his wife so much that he would not put himself in a position that could jeopardize it. He is right. Better to be overzealous than careless.
The “Pence Rule” isn’t extreme. It’s standard, and women are its biggest believers. This is a good thing. Men and women who choose to put their spouse before anyone else should be praised, not mocked.
