One in every 5 men may be silently suffering in the aftermath of a partner’s
abortion
, and the liberal
feminist
movement makes it worse.
More than half of men who have been affected by abortion seek psychological support afterward. Most don’t know what to look for, and few find it when they do, according to
a new study
from the nonpartisan organization Support After Abortion.
NEW POLL SHOWS DEMOCRATS HAVE BEEN THE EXTREMISTS ON ABORTION
When it comes to this contentious conversation, men are usually excluded. Whether it’s the decision to abort or space to grieve the loss of a child, secular feminists are clear:
Keep your mouth shut
.
In circumstances of unplanned pregnancy, men are shamed for believing their opinion matters. Emotional baggage isn’t even a consideration. A man’s grief is inconvenient, smashing the illusion that this is merely about a woman’s “bodily autonomy.”
“My body, my choice,” read the signs at the Women’s March and in front of the Supreme Court each time another abortion-related case comes down. But far more than just the woman is affected when a child is conceived.
Even if a man agrees to an abortion, most aren’t ready for the emotional toll that descends afterward. Nobody talks about it, so there is no way to prepare or take that possibility into consideration. The truth is depression, anxiety, and anger
are common
for men during this time, but there is nowhere for them to process it.
Treating men as unimportant in this realm jives with feminist societal norms that typecast all males as abusive, patriarchal, or stupid. While women regularly choose
single motherhood
and abortion on their terms, men are increasingly disrespected and viewed as irrelevant.
An old
storyline
on the TV show Girls displayed this view well. In one episode, a character’s boyfriend asks her to join him for a run. She responds indifferently that she can’t go because she “had an abortion yesterday” and needs to take it easy. Her boyfriend assumes she’s joking, but she assures him she’s not. He is, understandably, speechless, and it isn’t brought up again.
A man will remember such a moment for the rest of his life, blindsided by hope and despair in a split second. He’s given no recognition, and such treatment is degrading and undignifying to men as human beings, not to mention the unborn child being callously eliminated.
If men aren’t supposed to care when their babies are aborted, why should we expect them to care when they’re born? We’ve created a confusing world in which men only matter if the women they’re partnered with decide they do. This is not a rational or healthy way to view men, especially if we expect them to take responsibility for their actions in the future — or to contribute personally and financially when abortion is not the outcome.
This reductive view of men is bad for society as a whole. No wonder we have a crisis of
masculinity
,
despair
,
addiction
,
crime
, and
joblessness
. When we don’t value men as a culture, they don’t value themselves. This is just a piece of a larger problem, but when
40% of babies are born to single mothers
, and hundreds of thousands are aborted at the legal will of mothers, it’s clear that the feelings and opinions of men don’t really matter.
Abortion hurts women. Abortion hurts men. Both parties should be allowed to grieve that pain, whether they identify as pro-choice or not. Unfortunately, because it’s taboo to express negativity regarding the realities of abortion, few men or women are willing to share the mental and emotional consequences — leaving a wound untreated and apt to infect other areas of life.
One in 5 American men is dealing with this pain, likely silently and alone. Human beings are made to procreate. Thus, abortion is unnatural to the deepest level, but secular culture only validates pain that falls within its pro-abortion framework. This is hypocritical and unfair.
There are cancer survivor communities, infertility support groups, and more. Why shouldn’t there be support available for those who’ve been through abortion? Why should men feel helpless in the face of this struggle?
Eighty-three percent of men in the survey said they didn’t know where they could get help, and 71% said they experienced an “adverse change in themselves” after the abortion. Men need awareness and access to resources, just as they would in any other traumatic situation. Will the feminist Left allow them to grieve or sacrifice their mental health on the altar of abortion at all costs?
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Ericka Andersen is a freelance writer living in Indianapolis, Indiana. She is the author of
Reason to Return: Why Women Need the Church & the Church Needs Women
.
