Uber and Lyft are much better than taxi companies, but they are far from perfect.
Case in point: my experience earlier Tuesday circa 2:40 a.m., when I received a call from my nearly 93-year-old grandfather, who was in exceptional pain and needed to go to the emergency room.
As I do not have a car, the most efficient way to collect my grandfather and take him to the hospital was to order an Uber or Lyft.
Thus began a sad saga.
Comparing the prices for the route, Lyft gave me a cheaper price. I thus requested a Lyft to take me from my house to my grandfather’s residence nearby and then on to the hospital. A driver six minutes away, David, accepted the ride and I waited on my steps.
All was well.
Until David turned up.
Approaching the driver side rear seat, a very grumpy David gruffly told me to go around to the other side of the car. I did so. Getting into the car, however, I realized that there was not enough room for both myself and my grandfather in the back seat. This was largely due to the fact that David’s rather large size meant there was about enough room behind his driver’s seat for a small toddler.
Even better, David had a basket full of his clothes and random other items on the front seat.
Mentioning that I needed another seat, David told me that he couldn’t move his basket into his trunk. He then said nothing.
I quietly stepped out of David’s car, shut the door and returned to my steps.
Requesting another Lyft, Kyon accepted the fare. Only five minutes away, I was optimistic that Kyon would be my grandfather’s savior.
That was an error.
Regrettably, Kyon turned out to be an expert in what I like to refer to as CFF, or cancellation fee fraud. CFF involves an Uber of Lyft driver who accepts a fare but then decides they would rather head to a different area of town or simply head home.
The evidence for a CFF offending driver is their total disinterest in turning towards a passenger’s pickup location. You can identify a CFF driver once they spend three minutes heading in totally the wrong direction or, as in Kyon’s case, missing four or eight turns.
CFF drivers do not cancel the ride because they know that most passengers will wait to give them the benefit of the doubt as to whether they have accidentally missed a turning. This matters because if a passenger then cancels after five minutes, the driver gets a $5 cancellation fee.
That’s exactly what happened with Kyon and myself. I can’t prove Kyon’s intentions, but as I canceled, I suspected Kyon was smiling at another moron he had played.
And I knew exactly how Lyft would respond to my CFF complaint.
“We added credit to your account – use it on your next ride.” This offers no compensation for wasting my time and no deterrence against drivers using the scheme.
Anyway, giving up on Lyft, I then ordered an Uber and was accepted by Muhammed. Five minutes later, Muhammed pulled up on my road and we were on our way!
For about 45 seconds.
Because then Muhammed needed to stop and get gas. Why he suddenly needed to do so was not obvious; the ride between my residence, my grandfather’s residence and the hospital is only 10 minutes total.
But I accepted the stop in good humor.
Finally, once Muhammed figured out how to use his credit card, we were back on our way. While Muhammed struggled to read his GPS system, he eventually got me to my grandfather’s and then delivered us on to the hospital.
Unfortunately, this sorry saga took around 35 minutes from the moment I ordered a Lyft to the point at which I finally arrived at hospital. It should have taken a maximum of 15 minutes total.
The lesson is thus simple: Do not trust Lyft or Uber to get you to hospital during the early morning hours. At least not in a timely fashion!
Nevertheless, there is one redeeming element in this sad saga.
Jessica, a staff nurse at Virginia Hospital Center.
Jessica attended to my grandfather with grace and efficiency, while also handling a busy reception area in the emergency room. Jessica also spoke fluent Spanish. And so as I write this story, at 4.25 a.m., my grandfather and I should be returning home within the next 60 minutes.
If, that is, the Gods of Uber and Lyft are looking more kindly upon us.
