I am not a soccer snob. I hate phrases like “England are a better side.” I avoid the word “nil” when I mean “zip,” “zero” or “nothing.” I won’t insist on “match” when I mean “game,” and I’m offended by Major League Soccer’s pretentious use of words like “United” and “Real” in its team names. (Since when was Salt Lake City “royal?”)

I also laugh out loud every time I hear an English soccer commentator describe “the wave” as having originated at the 1986 World Cup in Mexico City.