In 2017, the bar for what must be deemed politically incorrect, culturally appropriative, or just plain inappropriate was set to a new low, so low that only insects could limbo their way beneath it. What was determined to be bad in 2017? Oh, just the Rocky Horror Picture Show, nearly all Halloween costumes, the Kardashians, and even—seriously—Will and Grace. Here’s a list of what I’m pretty sure will become considered double-plus bad in 2018.
10) Gangster rap: There’s not a lot of gangsta happening these days, but for people who grew up on NWA and Snoop, Biggie, and Tupac, gangster rap never really went away. Dre’s 1992 album The Chronic remains as enjoyable and iconic as ever, even as rap has become, in general, safer and mainstream and more emo. (Looking at you, Kanye.)
Part of the frisson of that early period was the music’s transgressive nature. Take this line, from a 1993 track by Ice Cube: “When I was little I didn’t wanna be like Mike. I wanted to be like Ike.” Imagine how that lyric would go over today, glorifying as it does the physical abuse of women. This may be the year the sensitivity police finally catch up with rap and such transgressions become not enjoyable, but unforgivable.
And even if the music doesn’t become taboo, individual artists may be on the clock. To date, very few rappers have paid a price for being on the wrong side of problematic. (The most notable exception being Allen Iverson, whose musical career as “Jewelz” was cut short because of one stray lyric that was deemed homophobic.)
But Russell Simmons, one of the most powerful men in the industry, had his career wrecked in the last month; it’s only a matter of time before #metoo catches up with the rest of the rap world just the way it did Hollywood.
9) High heels: The New York Times is at least six months late to any fashion trend, so its recent story about the death of high heels wasn’t a harbinger so much as a ratification. Heels, the Times announces, have come to be seen as a symbol of gender discrimination. The piece goes on to identify the bad women (Melania Trump) who wear heels and the good women (Gal Gadot) who wear flats.
8) Wonder Woman: Speaking of Gal Gadot, after spending months of being praised as a feminist epic, Wonder Woman is due for a reassessment by our cultural overlords.
Social justice warriors were suckered by the movie’s depiction of a Strong Female Lead (and the fact that the film was directed by a woman, Patty Jenkins). But upon further reflection they’re sure to notice that the actual message of the movie is that accommodationist peaceniks can’t be trusted and that—bumper stickers to the contrary—violence is the solution to a great many problems.
7) Patty Jenkins: The SJWs are also likely to notice that Patty Jenkins isn’t staying in her lane. After initially accepting the role of Feminist Icon, Jenkins swerved and defended Hollywood alpha bro Brett Ratner after her star, Gal Gadot, refused to appear at an event where he would be present. (Rattner is the white whale of #metoo.)
And Jenkins didn’t just show up. She gave a speech in which she offered a full-throated defense of Ratner:
That’s going to be a problem.
6) Soccer: It used to be the one sport that was acceptable to love in polite circles, even if it was also beloved by drunken European nationalists. But now that Donald Trump is president, this hits a little too close to home.
5) Bitcoin: Yes, Bitcoin is a bubble. That’s not problematic. But the people who love bitcoin are.
Last March Richard Spencer boasted that “bitcoin is the currency of the alt right.” Since then, bitcoin’s valuation has increased by about 17x. (Or is it 5x? Or 30x? Depends on when you’re reading this.) Whatever the case, a lot of white-nationalist types using bitcoin to buy guns and drugs anonymously suddenly found themselves sitting on the equivalent of big piles of cash.
The tech press has noticed and there’s been an outcry over the extent to which neo-Nazis have been getting rich off of the sweet crypto blockchain. When the rest of mainstream America gets word, bitcoin will go from being a curiosity to a pariah.
4) Star Wars: Star Wars has been pushing really, really hard on the diversity scale. Since Disney purchased the cinematic universe from George Lucas they have not added a single major character who is a white male. Instead, the Disneyfied Star Wars has given us two Strong Female Leads (Rey and Jyn), two black male leads (Finn and Saw Gerrera), two Hispanic male leads (Poe and Cassian), three Asian supporting characters (Rose, Baze, and Chirrut), and one supporting character of Pakistani descent (Bodhi).
Okay, that’s not entirely fair. Disney did find some room for white male characters in Star Wars: All three of the new villains—Krennic, Kylo, and Hux—are white males.
This diversity push is truly admirable. But in 2018 Star Wars still lacks any gay, lesbian, or genderqueer characters. Expect someone to notice this shortcoming right around the release of Solo: A Star Wars Story, when they note that Han’s continuing characterization as a hetero cis-male is a problem.
3) White liberals thanking black women: Barack Obama’s two presidential races woke (yswidt?) the Democratic party to the power of the African-American vote: Suddenly Democrats realized that if they could energize black turnout, it could be an enormous weapon in national elections. Which meant that the era of taking African-American voters for granted was over. Huzzah!
And with Donald Trump’s election, Democrats became even more desperate to be saved by black voters. In Alabama, they were: Turnout among African-American women was one of the decisive factors in the race. National Democrats—many of them white—were intensely grateful.
Which, it turns out, was kind of problematic. Expect these awkward moments to happen more and more during the runup to the midterms.
2) Doug Jones: Speaking of Alabama: Doug Jones was a hero of the left for about five minutes. Then he said that there was no reason for Donald Trump to resign the presidency because of sexual assault allegations. This stunned the left. Just wait until Jones is seated, and starts acting like a politician who has to win votes in Alabama.
1) Alcohol: For thousands of years human beings have relied on alcohol to assist in courtship, mating, sporting exhibitions, family gatherings, and office parties. That’s all about to come to an end. Lefty opinion is already beginning to shift.
Have a look at this essay, which explains that a) women in the world today are walking around hammered pretty much all the time and that b) this is because of the patriarchy.
But it’s so much worse than that. Because women aren’t just drinking as a way to make it through this cruel man’s world—they’re also beset by men who are constantly getting drunk and trying to assault them. That’s why Vox canceled the open bar at its holiday office party: They didn’t trust their employees to behave themselves with more than a couple of drinks in them.
And—let’s be honest—the Voxxers may have a point. Alcohol is a lubricant reducing social friction. But in many cases social friction is quite helpful. It’s great to lose your inhibitions if they’re keeping you from trying out for community theater. It’s not so great to lose your inhibitions if they’re keeping you from trying to make out with Amber in the conference room. Our society could gain a lot if we adopted an attitude which basically said, Follow your inhibitions!
But of course, we can’t do that. We live in a world in which it is an absolute moral requirement that everything be permitted. You’re a 28-year-old dude who likes to cosplay as My Little Pony? No problem. You’re in a league for a pretend sport based on young-adult fantasy novels? That’s cool. You’re sexually aroused by people dressed in animal suits? Hey brother: You do you.
The only point at which anyone in America is allowed to express moral disapproval of anything is where safety comes into play. (That’s why campus leftists have to insist that speech they dislike makes them “unsafe.”) And as lots of people are realizing, drinking in groups—especially co-ed groups—can sometimes result in a diminution of safety.
So there’s only one thing to be done: Expect a consensus to emerge that the only safe way to consume alcohol in the America of 2018 is by drinking alone.
Happy New Year’s to you.
